In Germany, it can take a little longer before people start calling one another “friends” (Freunde).
Luckily, there’s a handy word for this in-between stage – which can sometimes feel like it lasts forever.
What does Bekannten mean?
In the simplest possible terms, Bekannten means “acquaintances”. The singular form is ein Bekannter for a male acquaintance and eine Bekannte for a female acquaintance.
While the English word acquaintance is rarely used in everyday speech, in German it’s a common term to describe someone you know, and perhaps even see regularly, but who you don’t quite think of as a friend yet.
In German, the word Freund(in) or “friend” implies a deeper personal connection than it does in English. A Bekannter, on the other hand, is someone you might happily invite out for a beer, but probably just to gossip or talk about sport rather than to plumb the depths of personal crises, death, religion, politics or money.
Why do I need to know Bekannten?
Forming new friendships in a new country can be tricky – and even trickier when people seem reluctant to even use the word “friend”.
Rather than feel offended, it’s important to realise this intermediary stage is simply a part of life in Germany.
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It’s also useful to know that being elevated to the status of “friend” – when and if it ever happens – carries more emotional weight in Germany than it does in most other countries.
Additionally, the German tendency to keep new people slightly at arm’s length for a while offers a number of useful advantages. We’ve all been there, after all, arriving in a new country and doing everything we can to make friends with anyone we can in the first few weeks – and then spending years extricating ourselves from these relationships we forged in a moment of desperation!
As an aside, the switch from thinking of someone as a Bekannte(r) to thinking of them as a friend in Germany is often accompanied by the switch from the formal Sie to the informal du.
How to use it?
Er ist ein Bekannter von mir
He is an acquaintance of mine
Ich treffe mich heute mit einer Bekannten
I am meeting a (female) acquaintance today
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Wir sind viele Bekannte auf dem Fest.
There are lots of people who know each other at the festival.
Ist er ein Freund von dir?
Is he a friend of yours?
Ich würde sagen, er ist eher ein Bekannter
I’d say he’s more of an acquaintance
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