Along with rich culture, stunning scenery and lots of beer gardens, another part of living in Germany is learning how to deal with the rather direct way of communicating.
Whether your work colleague is giving you brutally honest feedback on your presentation or you're getting shouted at for crossing the road at a red light, there is truth to the stereotype of Germans communicating in a direct manner.
For many people arriving in Germany, this can be a big culture shock. Those coming from countries with less direct communication styles (also referred to as high-context cultures) can struggle to get used to the bluntness.
When we asked The Local readers to share their views, the majority of respondents to our survey - over 51 percent - said they had experienced German directness as a culture shock. Just over 32 percent said it was a little bit of a culture shock but not a major one, and just over 15 percent of readers said they hadn't noticed it.
Expect German bluntness 'everywhere'
Readers told us they have experienced this culture of directness in many situations.
John, 38, from the US and currently in the Rhine-Ruhr region, said he came across it all the time "in everyday life" whether at work, shopping, making appointments, with German friends and family and in customer service including restaurants.
"It can be quite rude and I haven't embraced it very much," added John.
Estelle Mankan, 39, from France agrees. She noted experiencing very direct communication "a bit everywhere, from shopkeepers that make you feel that you are annoying them to colleagues who bluntly tell you they do not have time to help you with a task..."
Several respondents said they noticed the direct talking culture more when they were with their children.
Julie, 41 from USA living in Hamburg, said that she finds some Germans - usually older people - "make comments about how I’m managing my kids (both three years old)".
"Specifically times when the kids aren’t even doing anything disruptive or annoying but the person feels the need to provide unwarranted advice or makes an unnecessary comment simply because I parent differently than they did or imagine they would."
Julie cited a time when her daughter removed her socks and refused to put them back on in public.
"An Opa stopped us in the sidewalk to complain and point out her lack of socks and explain the weather to me as if I had no idea," said Julie. "I invited him to explain it to the child if he really believed he could do better. That resulted in a few choice comments under his breath as he went on his way shaking his head about ignorant foreign parents."
Like some other readers, Julie has learned to embrace German directness in other situations: "The only time I really don’t appreciate it is when it comes from strangers who are interrupting me to engage in unwanted or unsolicited communications."
German curtness in the workplace
For Jorge Bueso, 38, who's in Berlin, communication in the German workplace can be challenging.
"At work, colleagues are too direct...they feel like they have to share their thoughts as if its relevant or required," he said.
Fiona, 38 from the UK, who says she loves living in Munich offered a perfect example of an uncalled-for comment at the workplace. In a room full of colleagues she was told "that colour shirt doesn't suit you".
Sofie, who is 40 and lives in Hamburg, recalled being told how bad she looked when she had decided to work from home while sick: "not just once, but twice to really drive the point home and it was beyond rude and surprising!"
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Of course direct communication from colleagues can also happen at social functions.
Roy, 78, from Texas now living in Bavaria, says that at a Christmas party "a senior colleague asked if the women standing next to me was my second wife."
Directness expressed in actions
In German culture, directness is not limited only to communications. At times, it can be seen in the actions people take as well.
Steven, a 50-year-old Berlin resident from South Africa recalled such an experience.
"My wife and I were sitting outside at a café. There was a wasp buzzing around. My wife is severely allergic, and we managed to trap (but not harm!) the wasp under a glass. Then while we were enjoying our coffees, a German woman sitting nearby got up, walked over to our table, and upended the glass so that the wasp escaped. We were so stunned that we couldn’t get any words out before she was gone."
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How best to deal with it?
Among those who answered that they haven't been offended by directness in Germany, Mike, who's originally from Philadelphia, says he embraced the direct way of communicating. "Don't take it personally," he added.
John, 38 from the US, noted that he does find German directness to be quite rude, but he offered similar advice: "Grow a thicker skin and don't take it too personally."
For some, however, not taking what they perceive to be a personal affront personally, is hard to do. Among this crowd, many readers said they ultimately learned to dish it right back.
"I just match the energy nowadays," said Suleman, a 28-year-old from Birmingham, UK.
"It was tough at first as a Brit relocating to Hamburg but now I feel I nullify their directness with mine. Always stand up for yourself as directness can go both ways," he added.
But not everyone opts to fight fire with fire. In fact, some readers said they prefer to go the other way entirely.
"Smile , laugh and be happy," said John, a 55-year-old from Australia who lives in Kaiserlautern, adding, "It really puts Germans off..."
However you go about it, as a foreign resident in Germany, the onus is ultimately on you to adapt to directness here. Germans certainly aren't going to change.
Hans, a German who grew up in North Rhine-Westphalia but has since lived for 30 years in English speaking countries, said he ultimately decided to leave Germany for good for this reason.
He notes that when he returned to Germany after living abroad for years, he "couldn't stand the bluntness and often shown rudeness" in Germany.
"After being back in my homeland for a few years, I packed and left again," he said, adding that he's moved to Spain and has decided to stay there.
It's not always bad
Not all readers objected to German directness, in fact a few respondents noted that they actually appreciated the more straightforward manner of communicating.
One respondent, who didn't disclose their name, answered that they have experienced directness in "every possible interaction", but also said they "love it because it saves a lot of time".
Milena, 33, from Bulgaria said she has "partially embraced" Germany's direct culture, "because it is one thing to direct but polite..." Though she added that very often she sees people being direct in a rude tone.
Tamy, who is 62 and originally from Mexico, recalled an experience she had 15 years ago. It was a hot day and her car had broken down. She and her kids were sat in a parking lot waiting for roadside assistance to arrive.
"A German mothers in the car park got out of her BMW and approached my old Clio. After I explained what was going on, she said to me in a disapproving tone, 'Yes, I had this kind of car when I was a student.' She went back to her BMW and returned with a bottle of water. 'Here, for the kids,' she said, and again without further ado, she went back to her BMW and drove off.
"At first I found her comment and lack of small talk rude, but at the same time her kind and practical concern for the welfare of the children, without exchanging any pleasantries, was priceless."
READ ALSO: 5 ways living in Germany changes you as a person
With reporting and writing by Rachel Loxton.
Thank you so much to everyone who completed our survey. Although we weren't able to use all the responses, we read them all and they helped inform our article.
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