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10 signs you've become more German than the Germans

Rachel Stern
Rachel Stern - [email protected]
10 signs you've become more German than the Germans
A red 'Ampelmann' on a German traffic light. Jaywalking is a, well, big red light in Germany. Photo: picture alliance / Candy Welz / Arifoto Ug/dpa-Zentralbild/dpa | arifoto UG

Has your definition of concepts such as nice weather or punctuality changed? Do you have insurance for the most far-fetched scenarios? You might be turning into a true German.

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You find your English peppered with German phrases

When talking in English, you intersperse phrases with a “yeah?”, taking a cue from the common German interjection “ja?” "We need to get ready now, yeah? Our bus is arriving soon, yeah, in one hour and 42 minutes."

Or you find yourself throwing in “exactly” after all statements, maybe interchanging it with the German equivalent Genau. "Genau, genau, it's time to go. Genau, we wouldn’t want to be late”

If you’re a native English speaker, German grammar has started rubbing off on you, and you find yourself in the dark as to where the verb in a sentence is actually supposed to go. 

READ ALSO: 'How 10 years in Germany has changed me'

A lack of punctuality makes you perspire 

You start to sweat at the thought of running to any appointment late, be it a drink with a mate or a sit-down job interview, and leave for your destination extra early to avoid Germany's ultimate social taboo of "Unpünktlichkeit".

Even showing up at a 9am morning work meeting at 9:02 feels unhöflich (impolite), so you aim to get there “on time” at 8:45, just as your colleagues are also coming through the door. 

The World Time Clock (Weltzeituhr) in Berlin's Alexanderplatz. Photo by INA FASSBENDER / AFP

You embrace time off work - whatever it's for

Especially if you come from a country like the US or UK, you start taking sick leave when you're actually sick, rather than attempting to discreetly sneeze into your tenth tissue as you pretend to be productive.

And even (or especially) when you're in the best of health, you embrace your Feierabend, or time after work, ignoring whatever last emails are sitting in your inbox as you stroll in the spring weather with a Wegbier or just kick back with a good film or book.

READ ALSO: Herbal tea and sick leave: An American's odd to the German attitude towards health

You almost break up with your partner when forced to share a duvet

Although this is common in some other countries, Germans expect two adults sharing a double bed to each use their own duvet. Somehow, this has not become common practice worldwide - save for equally squeamish Scandinavian countries - meaning you may be forced to get comfy under one duvet when spending the night in another country with your partner.

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Your habit of using two duvets has become your way of getting a peaceful night's sleep - no matter how unromantic it may have seemed before you moved to Germany. Now, the experience of sleeping with just one meagre blanket between you means you spend the entire night waking up every time your partner moves in the slightest. By the time morning rolls around, you are considering never exchanging words with them again.

You live and breath Ordnung

You wouldn't dare cross the street on a red light - least of all while children are watching - or dream of chucking your Restmüll (general waste) in the recycling bin. Everything has to function as it's supposed to, and you don't want to be caught breaking the rules - even unspoken social ones like mowing your lawn on the Ruhetag of Sunday.

You bask in the sun like a seal when spring comes

Germans love their Gemütlichkeit, or that coziness of staying indoors sipping a warm beverage amid the long cold gray winter (and early spring). But when the sun finally emerges - and blares down from a bright blue sky for longer than 15 minutes - you find yourself sunbathing in the park amid a swath of strangers doing the same. 

And if the sunshine really goes to your head, you may even smile at them after months of public stoicism to all souls who share the same space.

READ ALSO: Five things that are changing about Germany - and five that never will

People enjoy the spring weather in Hamburg in April.

People enjoy the spring weather in Hamburg in April. Photo: picture alliance/dpa | Marcus Brandt

You have insurance for everything 

What if, one day, you accidentally stumble over a stray ball on the street, which sends you flying into the windshield of a neighbouring parked car? You haven't thought too much about the injuries you might sustain in this improbable scenario - but you're haunted by the costs you'd have to bear for damaging another person's property. So you take out a Hauptpflichtversicherung (personal liability insurance) so that no one can sue you for injuring yourself on their car.

If you're like the average German, this will be one of six different types of Versicherung you have coverage for. Well, that's the bare minimum, considering you also want to get added protection for your pet, bike, upcoming trip and of course your hairdryer, in case you inadvertently blast it at a too-high voltage.

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Your definition of 'nice weather' has changed

On that note, when temperatures reach a “crisp” 11 degrees Celsius, you find yourself and your friends ready to sit outside again - or at a restaurant which has started bringing out its tables and chairs. If you get too chilly, they have an ample supply of blankets or Heizpilze (literally “heating mushrooms” or lamps) waiting to come to the rescue.

You abide by the German expression of “There’s no wrong weather, just wrong clothes” and get outside everyday that there isn’t a dramatic snowstorm. If you have kids, you’re used to bundling them up even in the chillest of climes, and heading to the snowy Spielplatz (playground), where a "snowcastle" is waiting to be built.

READ ALSO: 7 cultural differences between raising kids in Germany and the US

You are shocked by the low quality of housing elsewhere

German homes are unsurprisingly, considering the weather, very well insulated. And at least in inner-city apartments, your heating usually just works (albeit with increasingly high costs). Just like former chancellor Angela Merkel, you exude pride over the robust glazing on your German-made windows and balcony doors. 

Not all countries can boast such a good quality housing stock, meaning you might need to readjust to the lower standard (and the lower indoor temperature) of apartments in your home country.

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You get buttered up

You wouldn’t dream of preparing a sandwich without first caking a thick layer of butter on each slice of bread. Too much fat? No such thing on your hearty Belegtes Brötchen, which is also plumped up with a healthy dose of cheese and sometimes meat.

You have earned extra German-ness points if you consume it for your Abendbrot (literally evening bread, or dinner), having left a large warm hearty meal for the afternoon.

READ ALSO: Abendbrot: What time do Germans eat dinner?

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