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'They don't do small talk': Why foreigners in Germany find it hard to make friends

Rachel Loxton
Rachel Loxton - rachel@thelocal.de
'They don't do small talk': Why foreigners in Germany find it hard to make friends
A group of friends having drinks. Is it difficult to make connections in Germany? Photo: Depositphotos/monkeybusiness

A recent survey found internationals struggle to make friends and settle in Germany. Here’s what our readers had to say about it.

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Comments (4)

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Anonymous 2019/10/03 07:40
As far as learning the German language, you will have to get that done. Germans take much better care of their language than we in the USA take of English. A typical German would agree that it would be impossible to learn their language well enough without knowing the grammar. So don't waste your time trying. Learn the grammar well. Speaking the language well should greatly improve your chances of making friends there. The language and its care is so vital to their culture that I think they should use it as a legal barrier to keep out those they do not want as new citizens. 'You want to immigrate? Fine. Try back when you are fluent in German.' 'You want to bring Ma and Pa now? Well they will need to be fluent in German to be considered.'
Anonymous 2019/10/03 07:39
As far as learning the German language, you will have to get that done. Germans take much better care of their language than we in the USA take of English. A typical German would agree that it would be impossible to learn their language well enough without knowing the grammar. So don't waste your time trying. Learn the grammar well. Speaking the language well should greatly improve your chances of making friends there. The language and its care is so vital to their culture that I think they should use it as a legal barrier to keep out those they do not want as new citizens. 'You want to immigrate? Fine. Try back when you are fluent in German.' 'You want to bring Ma and Pa now? Well they will need to be fluent in German to be considered..
Anonymous 2019/10/03 07:23
In their minds they are not rude. They see those of us who approach them as strangers but want to get personal as the rude ones. They have a very strong culture that is work oriented. They want to protect their culture more than they want personal contact with a stranger. They are very aware as citizens. They expect you to have be so also. If you are not then they disrespect you. It is all quite logical. They just don't want to explain it because they would prefer you think it through yourself. It is a very German thing. Since you are in their country then they expect you to abide by their cultural values. They are actually quite good values so I think it is fine to expect newcomers to at least respect those values. Basically they want their country to stay German, and being in alignment with their cultural values will accomplish that. To conclude, if you cannot or not want to observe well enough and think it all out so that you could operate within the cultural values that are used by the German citizenry then most Germans would prefer that you exit their country.
Anonymous 2019/10/03 07:09
In their minds they are not rude. They see those of us who approach them as strangers but want to get personal as the rude ones. They have a very strong culture that is work oriented. They want to protect their culture more than they want personal contact with a stranger. They are very aware as citizens. They expect you to have be so allso

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