A lot of German sayings about beer boil down to meaning “if I don't find a woman attractive, it means I haven't drunk enough.” But we decided to pick out a few others (from the very many that exist) which we thought were quite a bit funnier.
1. Man soll das Bier nicht vor dem Kater loben
There are surely few sayings that hold more truth than this wise call to caution in what one drinks. It translates as “don't praise your beer until you've experienced the hangover”. When you think about it, this statement applies to so much more than just alcohol consumption.
2. Halb besoffen, ist rausgeschmissenes Geld
3. Durst ist schlimmer als Heimweh
Proving that Germans think that everything can be solved if you drink enough, this dictum states “Thirst is worse than homesickness.” And somehow we don't think they mean a thirst for Apfelschorle.
We should caution though that this doesn't apply to all alcohol – whiskey often leaves homesick Scots sobbing out every third word of Loch Lomond in the corner of an empty pub.
4. Durst wird durch Bier erst schön
“Thirst is only beautiful when accompanied by beer,” goes the saying. Thirst might be the thing Germans fear the most, but it turns into a wonderful thing when they have a cold frothy Maß placed in front of them.
4. Hast du Kater, nimm den Rat, trinke früh, was du trankst spat
If you're ever wondered whether Germans agree that the “hair of the dog” is the best cure for a hangover, this saying should put your mind at rest. “If you've got a hangover, take the advice to drink early what you drank late,” is a rough translation of this rather poetic little ditty.
5. Bei kaltem Wetter läuft die Nase, bei kaltem Bier läuft die Blase
“When the weather's cold your nose runs, when the beer's cold you bladder does”. Well, we can't argue with that.
6. Am morgen ein Bier und der Tag gehört dir
“Drink a beer in the morning and the day is yours.” German medical authorities have been fighting to consign this idea to the past for some time now. And with beer consumption dropping steadily over the past few decades, you're only likely to hear this saying on father's day.
8. Ein Bock ist jenes Tier, der auch als Bier getrunken werden kann
“A goat is an animal that can also be drunk as a beer.” This 19th century aphorism is a reference to Bock (goat) beer, a strong beer that has an alcohol content upwards of 6.5 percent. It is most famously brewed at Andex monastery in Bavaria. Just as you're unlikely to come out on top in a fight with a billy goat, get too intimate with this powerful brew and you'll be left reeling.
9. Wenn ich Durst habe, sieht es keiner. Wenn ich besoffen bin, sehen es alle
The pearl of wisdom gets to the heart of the lonesome pursuit of being a beer enthusiast. “When I'm thirsty nobody notices, but when I'm drunk everyone does,” it laments.
10. Der Wirt ist nicht der Beste, der mehr trinkt als die Gäste
Everyone likes their barman to have good chat, but nobody wants to have to pick him up off the floor at the end of the night. Or as this saying puts it “A landlord certainly isn't the best, if he drinks more than his guests.”