"It's a barren wasteland," one of the top results states.
"Relationships gone wrong."
"It's the toughest city in Europe for single girls."
What's a romantic to do?
Well, if at first you don't succeed – try something else.
For those who are ready to mingle, Berlin is a hidden goldmine. Almost a third of the city's residents are single, so there's no shortage of options.
You just need to know how to unlock its potential – and sift through the sediment to find those golden grains.
"That's what The Inner Circle does for you," says Michael Krayenhoff, co-founder of the dating app that's taken London, Amsterdam, Stockholm, and Paris by storm.
"Sometimes too much choice is a bad thing. We review every registration individually to make sure they're genuine - and that they've got what you're looking for."
It's hard to describe what that je ne sais quoi of an Inner Circle member really is. It's not about salary or your post code. Members range from hip creatives to corporate high flyers, or anything in between.
Basically, The Inner Circle is for ambitious, interesting singles who all share the same zest for life. And each member is approved by hand to prioritise quality, not quantity.
“We look for people who are thriving in all aspects of life - someone who is kicking ass at whatever they're doing."
And when it comes to courting the sometimes-shy Germans, nothing makes it easier than The Inner Circle. You don't have to wait for a “match” to message a potential partner, and if you prefer real-life encounters, you can attend one of the company's exclusive members-only events at some of the hippest venues in town.
"We strive for real-life compatibility with like-minded singles. That's how you bring about the best connections," Michael says.
So what are you waiting for?
This article was produced by The Local and sponsored by The Inner Circle.