• Germany's news in English

Germany's weirdest Christmas markets

The Local · 14 Dec 2012, 12:04

Published: 14 Dec 2012 12:04 GMT+01:00

Facebook Twitter Google+ reddit

Erotic Christmas market in Hamburg

Aptly dubbed “the horniest Christmas market in Germany“, this unorthodox Weihnachtsmarkt can be found in the St Pauli district of Hamburg and offers an array of sexy seasonal treats for the sixth year in a row.

The set up is similar to a normal market, with wooden stalls touting their wares, a decked out Christmas tree and vendors selling mulled wine. But there is one main difference; sex everywhere, in true St. Pauli style.

Alongside the traditional Christmas paraphernalia sit scanty knickers, erotic pictures, and hand carved wooden dildos made by a family-run team specializing in wooden sex toys.

Gingerbread hearts, instead of reading “I love you” are emblazoned with romantic phrases such “let’s bonk”, and Glühwein has been renamed “virility punch,” or “hooker juice.”

Inside the market tent, burlesque dancers swing around poles and perform regular strip shows. There is even fortune teller, for those who want to know if they’ll be getting lucky in the New Year.

Probably not one for the kids, but definitely worth a visit, the erotic Christmas market can be found on Spielbudenplatz daily. Entrance is free.

Click here for a gallery of Germany's weird Christmas markets

Harbour Christmas market in Cologne

Fish might not be the first thing that springs to mind when thinking about Christmas, but nevertheless, on the banks of the Rhine River in Cologne, a nautical Weihnachtsmarkt has sailed into town.

On Cologne’s oldest bridge, in front of the chocolate museum, revellers can enjoy a range of fishy snacks whilst bobbing along to sea shanties played on the accordion. Go at the right time and you might even catch a performance by the choir of sexy sailors.

Children can hope aboard a story boat and listen to tales of sea monsters, pirates and mermaids, as grown-ups can stroll around the 70 stalls enjoying a Glühbier – a deliciously spiced, warm beer.

The market runs daily and entrance is free.

Underground Christmas market in Kleinbremen

Pop on a helmet and some sturdy shoes, and enjoy the underground Christmas market in Minden.

For three days in December, visitors will be able to peruse handmade goods and enjoy local delicacies by candle light in an abandoned mine, not to mention watch a laser show each evening. With just 50 stalls lining a 150 metre subterranean walkway, this unusual market it bound to be one of the cosiest ones around.

Catch it whilst you can, however, as this Weihnachtsmarkt is only open from the 14 to 16 of December. Entrance fees are a little pricier than normal at €8 for adults and €4 for children, but enjoying a Glühwein and a bratwurst away from the biting cold will be worth it.

Feng-Shui Christmas market in Bergisch Gladbach

If the bustle of Christmas markets sometimes proves too stressful, the North Rhine-Westphalian town of Bergisch Gladbach may be able to help with its Feng-Shui market. Christmas goodies a-plenty can be found in the grounds of Schloss Bensberg, where not a fairground ride is in-sight, and visitors can soak up the ambience to the soulful grooves of gospel group Harlem-Grooves.

Stalls are arranged in accordance to ancient Feng Shui principles of grouping elements together: stalls selling wooden knick-knacks or paper items are sold together in the wood area. Roasted chestnuts or freshly baked goods are sold in the fire section, and the handcrafted jewellery in the metal area.

And what’s more is that the stalls are all arranged in a way the strictest Feng Shui adherent would approve of, creating the most harmonious of Christmas environments. The overall result should be a market with a flowing energy. Or flowing Glühwein at least, which has been especially produced with grapes from Rhineland-Palatinate.

Story continues below…

The Bergisch Gladbach market has a small entrance fee of €6 for adults, which includes a drink. Children are admitted free.

Children’s Christmas Market in Lübeck

A Christmas market just for kids has been opened up in Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein. Here, little ones get to experience the magic properly as smaller stalls allow them to get just as stuck in as the adults.

There is also a 200 metre square ice-rink, but strictly for those under 1 metre 60 tall, and under the age of 10. Parents also have the opportunity to enjoy an adult beverage, whilst their children bake Christmas biscuits in the baking tent under the watchful eye of a trained professional.

Budding actors or actresses will also get the chance to re-enact the nativity story, complete with costumes. More retiring youngsters can sit and watch, however, with a mug of hot chocolate.

The market is open daily through December, entrance is free but the ice-skating rink costs €3 per child.

The Local/jcw

Related links:

The Local (news@thelocal.de)

Facebook Twitter Google+ reddit

Your comments about this article

15:25 December 14, 2012 by raandy
The Girl with her finger on her teeth,wow sweeeet !!!!!!
Today's headlines
These are Germany's top ten universities
The new library of Freiburg University. Photo: Jörgens.mi / Wikimedia Commons

These are the best universities in all of Germany - at least according to one ranking.

Introducing Swabians - 'the Scots of Germany'
Photo: DPA

These Southern Germans have quite a reputation in the rest of the country.

Woman sues dentist over job rejection for headscarf
Photo: DPA

A dentist in Stuttgart is being taken to court by a woman whom he rejected for a job as his assistant on the basis that she wears a Muslim headscarf.

Isis suspect charged with scouting Berlin attack sites
Photo: DPA

German federal prosecutors said Thursday they had brought charges against a 19-year-old Syrian man accused of having scouted targets in Berlin for a potential attack by the Isis terror group.

Berlin Holocaust memorial could not be built now: creator
The Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe, in Berlin. Photo: DPA.

The architect of the Berlin Holocaust memorial has said that, if he tried to build the monument again today, it would not be possible due to rising xenophobia and anti-Semitism in Germany and the United States.

'Liberal' Germany stopping Europe's 'slide into barbarism'
Ian Kershaw. Photo: DPA

Europe is not slipping into the same dark tunnel of hate and nationalism that it did in the 1930s - mainly thanks to Germany - one of the continent's leading historians has said.

Eurowings strike to hit 40,000 passengers
Travelers impacted by the strike on Thursday wait at Cologne Bonn airport. Photo: DPA.

The day-long strike by a Eurowings cabin crew union is expected to impact some 40,000 passengers on Thursday as hundreds of flights have been cancelled.

Deutsche Bank reports surprise quarter billion profit
Photo: DPA

Troubled German lender Deutsche Bank reported Thursday a surprise €256-million profit in the third quarter, compared with a loss of more than six billion in the same period last year.

US 'warned Merkel' against Chinese takeover of tech firm
Aixtron HQ. Photo: DPA

The German government withdrew its approval for a Chinese firm to purchase Aixtron, which makes semiconductor equipment, after the US secret services raised security concerns, a German media report said Wednesday.

Long-vanished German car brand joins electric race
Photo: DPA

Cars bearing the stamp of once-defunct manufacturer Borgward will once again roll off an assembly line in north Germany from 2018, the firm said Wednesday.

10 German clichés that foreigners get very wrong
Sponsored Article
Last chance to vote absentee in the US elections
10 ways German completely messes up your English
Germany's 10 most weird and wonderful landmarks
10 things you never knew about socialist East Germany
How Germans fell in love with America's favourite squash
How I ditched London for Berlin and became a published author
12 clever German idioms that'll make you sound like a pro
23 fascinating facts you never knew about Berlin
9 unmissable events to check out in Germany this October
10 things you never knew about German reunification
10 things you're sure to notice after an Oktoberfest visit
Germany's 10 most Instagram-able places
15 pics that prove Germany is absolutely enchanting in autumn
10 German films you have to watch before you die
6 things about Munich that’ll stay with you forever
10 pieces of German slang you'll never learn in class
Ouch! Naked swimmer hospitalized after angler hooks his penis
Six reasons why Berlin is now known as 'the failed city'
15 tell-tale signs you’ll never quite master German
7 American habits that make Germans very, very uncomfortable
Story of a fugitive cow who outwitted police for weeks before capture
jobs available
Toytown Germany
Germany's English-speaking crowd