• Germany's news in English
 

Bikes and body hair - German Valentine tips

Published: 14 Feb 2013 10:34 GMT+01:00

1. Firstly, there is no fashionably late in Germany - be on time.

2. The date went well, and now you want to stalk them on Facebook. No chance; Germans take data protection and online privacy very seriously and if they haven't given themselves a fake name they may well have a completely private profile.

3. Germans like bikes, so if you are confident enough to mix a few Rieslings with two wheels, go to a date on your bike, as they likely will too. It's the helmet dilemma - risk arriving with squashed hair or getting brain damage when falling off on the way home?

4. Directness can be a blessing and a curse but to Germans it's the only way. This may reduce small-talk to a minimum. Browse a couple of newspapers beforehand to keep conversation flowing and avoid being outed as an ignorant expat.

5. As a foreigner, you're probably here to work. But many Germans your age may well still be studying, even into their early 30s. This doesn't mean your date is endlessly retaking exams, but may rule out a number of conversational gambits.

Valentine photo 36871109.jpg

Click here for dating tips in pictures

6. Don't worry about your German skills - they will probably speak English better than you speak German, or even English for that matter.

7. Expect to split the bill for dinner - a German woman will mean it when she offers to pay half, while a German man will accept even your most half-hearted suggestion to share. Cut the squabbling and go Dutch.

8. Managed to make your way back to theirs and into a state of undress? Don't panic when the hairy bits are in different places than you might expect - shaved armpits, chests and nether regions can be common on men - and less common on women. Embrace it, a little role reversal never did any harm.

9. Germans seem to have an unfathomable propensity for sickening nicknames, so get used to be called Mausi, (little mouse) Schatzi, (little treasure), Zaubermaus (magic mouse) and, The Local's personal favourite, Kuschelbär (cuddly bear).

10. Finally; single and hoping to meet that special someone in a bar? Think again because unlike Anglo friends, Germans tend to be less inclined to go scouting for a night of passion in the country's many, many watering holes. This means that you'll likely arrive and leave with the same people you went out with.

Related links:

The Local (news@thelocal.de)

Your comments about this article

12:25 February 14, 2013 by yllusion
This was pretty funny :-) Liked it.
13:11 February 14, 2013 by Firmino
Good article! It was quite funny and has good advice. I haven't been living in Germany for very long so some useful tips for me here!
13:32 February 14, 2013 by ichbines
Better yet, go home! Don't stop on go don't collect 200 dollars, just go home!
13:37 February 14, 2013 by The-ex-pat
Germans like bikes, so if you are confident enough to mix a few Rieslings with two wheels, go to a date on your bike........

Are you really advocating drink driving Local, you do know that pedal bike or car the law sees no difference in Germany....??
14:18 February 14, 2013 by Omufu
The-ex-pat is right! If you drink and cycle you can get points deducted from your car license :P
14:21 February 14, 2013 by Firmino
Yeah, drinking and riding a bike is a really stupid thing to do.
16:02 February 14, 2013 by ELDUDERINO
But I like doing stupid things. It's part of my cultural makeup.

Also, you need to have a drivers licence in order to have points added to it...
16:04 February 14, 2013 by Lykurgus
Drinking gives me the courage to ride a bike in Germany.

Especially when the streets are narrow.
16:17 February 14, 2013 by rugbycoach
In Germany, if you are cycling on a designated cycle path you are allowed to be twice the driving alcohol limit. This does not apply sharing the road where the usual limit applies.
19:10 February 14, 2013 by The-ex-pat
16:02 February 14, 2013 by ELDUDERINO

But I like doing stupid things. It's part of my cultural makeup.

Also, you need to have a drivers licence in order to have points added to it...

Try it and you will see how wrong you are..........You can also be in the situation where you will be required to take the idiot test to be able to ride your bike again. This has been reported more than one here.

16:17 February 14, 2013 by rugbycoach

In Germany, if you are cycling on a designated cycle path you are allowed to be twice the driving alcohol limit. This does not apply sharing the road where the usual limit applies.

Again, give it a whirl and see how long you are without your four wheel Pferd.....

http://bicyclegermany.com/german_bicycle_laws.html
04:19 February 15, 2013 by RainerL
Yes! Go home and save your money before blowing it on Pussy
08:23 February 15, 2013 by Bryant2012
LOL. I couldn't have said it any better RainerL:)
17:10 February 22, 2013 by CoolBlueIce
I've often wondered how people get together in Germany to make baby Germans in the first place. I've dated women from lots of different countries and no one even comes close to the "unnahbar" women in Germany.

For example, try flirting with a woman on a bus. In 1/100th of a second you will get the death glance messages that translates to, "Drop your eye contact now or risk my using this giant meat hook, which I keep in my purse for just such occasions, to hang you upside down by your testicles from yonder tree."

I know that's a lot of information to convey in 1/100th of a second, but somehow they get the job done.
21:24 February 27, 2013 by Bigfoot76
CoolBlueIce said "I've often wondered how people get together in Germany to make baby Germans in the first place".

Well that is the problem we are having here. People are not getting together and making "baby Germans". The population is in decline. We better start sending those ladies to the bar to meet men eh?
Today's headlines
Pro-Kremlin bikers defy bans on Berlin ride
Photo: DPA

Pro-Kremlin bikers defy bans on Berlin ride

Dozens of bikers from pro-Kremlin gang the Night Wolves on Saturday set off on a ride to Berlin ahead of the anniversary of Soviet victory in World War II, despite Poland and Germany barring the riders. READ  

VW patriarch Piëch resigns
Photo: DPA

VW patriarch Piëch resigns

Volkswagen patriarch Ferdinand Piëch, has resigned as head of the German auto giant's supervisory board with immediate effect, the company announced Saturday. READ  

Schumacher Jr lives up to his name
Schumacher Jr is too young to drink any of that champagne. Photo: DPA

Schumacher Jr lives up to his name

Mick Schumacher Jr did his famous father proud on his Formula Four debut on Saturday by claiming a trophy as the best rookie and finishing ninth, despite starting 19th. READ  

Deutsche Bank to sell Postbank
Deutsche Bank acquired Postbank in 2008. Photo: DPA

Deutsche Bank to sell Postbank

Germany's biggest lender Deutsche Bank announced late Friday it was seeking to sell its Postbank subsidiary as part of a revamp to improve profitability. READ  

Far left activists attack immigration office
Photo: DPA

Far left activists attack immigration office

Far-left extremists attacked an immigration office in Leipzig early on Friday morning. It was the second targeted attack on an official building in the city in recent months. READ  

Steinmeier: Armenia wasn't genocide
Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier. Photo:DPA

Steinmeier: Armenia wasn't genocide

Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier insisted on Friday that calling Armenian massacres genocide risks belittling the Holocaust, after President Joachim Gauck broke a taboo by using the word on Thursday. READ  

Schumacher Jr launches Formula race career
Mick Schumacher on test day earlier in April. Photo: DPA

Schumacher Jr launches Formula race career

Michael Schumacher's 16-year-old son starts his Formula Four career this weekend, under the pressure of living up to the famous family name of the seven-time Formula One world champion. READ  

Property of the week
In Pictures: The Local's Property of the Week
Photo: Mr Lodge

In Pictures: The Local's Property of the Week

A highly sought-after location, great connection to public transport, and a very stylish interior – Does that sound good to you? Then you’ll love this week’s property! READ  

Germany's most polluted cities
The sun rises behind a coal-burning power station in Lower Saxony. Photo: DPA

Germany's most polluted cities

The Federal Environment Ministry has named the most polluted places around the country, with Stuttgart claiming the undesirable title of Germany's most polluted city. READ  

Göring's daughter fails in bid to win father's assets
Edda Göring photographed in 1942. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Göring's daughter fails in bid to win father's assets

The Bavarian government rejected on Thursday an attempt by Hermann Göring's daughter to win back her father's assets, which the government seized in 1948. READ  

RECEIVE OUR NEWSLETTER AND ALERTS
Gallery
German beer day: take the tour
Features
Off to Norway at 18 km/hour
Shutterstock
Sponsored Article
10 things you didn’t know about Zagreb (and why you should go)
Gallery
The smileys Germans love to text
Sponsored Article
What expat parents should ask before choosing a school
National
Expats face Monday deadline to register to vote for UK election
Politics
A Greek learning politics in Germany
Features
The battle of the "Gates of Berlin"
National
Germany's favourite baby names of 2014
National
Germany's 'very poor' lobbying record
National
VIDEO: Mario Draghi suffers anti-ECB confetti attack
Politics
Merkel's 15 years at the top of German politics
Features
Spice up asparagus season with The Local's serving suggestions
Travel
Lowest of the low: how woman exploited Germanwings crash
Sport
Football and the €30,000 firework
Technology
Why scientists oppose killer robots
National
Germanwings co-pilot 'searched suicide info'
Technology
Electrifying 'Ostalgia'
National
Which city is Germany's worst for drivers?
National
'Cannibal cop' gets 8 years
Can the 'nightmare' of a pilot downing a plane be prevented?
National
LIVE: Co-pilot suspected of crashing plane
Pupils mourn lost classmates
National
Freed after 25 years on death row
National
Cologne Cathedral returns from space
Features
Paddy's Day, Berlin style
Is your workload 'out of control'? You're not alone...
National
Why east Germans are happy to get it on on camera
National
What would you do with a 250-year-old pretzel?
Features
Just why is the German flag Schwarz, Rot, Gold?
Business & Money
Getting German workers and bosses thinking positive
National
Uplifting thoughts to get you through the last week of winter
National
Who wants the Olympics more - Hamburg or Berlin?
National
Last-minute drama of Germany's Eurovision 2015 entry
National
German photographer takes world's top prize
Features
Meet the woman getting Germans to drink more – and better – beer
Gallery
Get inspired for International Women's Day with German heroes
Green party proposes first-ever cannabis legalization plan
Gallery
In pictures: Germany's seven most livable cities
National
Singapore canes Germans for train graffiti
Politics
Surprise! Germans love feeling like they run the EU
Politics
Anger over plan to show women what men earn
Travel
Munich tram fans bicker over new bell
Features
Kafka: puzzling translators 100 years on
Business & Money
France or Germany: Which country really is the best country to work in?
Latest news from The Local in Austria

More news from Austria at thelocal.at

Latest news from The Local in Switzerland

More news from Switzerland at thelocal.ch

Latest news from The Local in Denmark

More news from Denmark at thelocal.dk

Latest news from The Local in Spain

More news from Spain at thelocal.es

Latest news from The Local in France

More news from France at thelocal.fr

Latest news from The Local in Italy

More news from Italy at thelocal.it

Latest news from The Local in Norway

More news from Norway at thelocal.no

Latest news from The Local in Sweden

More news from Sweden at thelocal.se

7,191
jobs available
Toytown Germany
Germany's English-speaking crowd