• Germany's news in English
 

Bikes and body hair - German Valentine tips

Published: 14 Feb 2013 10:34 GMT+01:00

1. Firstly, there is no fashionably late in Germany - be on time.

2. The date went well, and now you want to stalk them on Facebook. No chance; Germans take data protection and online privacy very seriously and if they haven't given themselves a fake name they may well have a completely private profile.

3. Germans like bikes, so if you are confident enough to mix a few Rieslings with two wheels, go to a date on your bike, as they likely will too. It's the helmet dilemma - risk arriving with squashed hair or getting brain damage when falling off on the way home?

4. Directness can be a blessing and a curse but to Germans it's the only way. This may reduce small-talk to a minimum. Browse a couple of newspapers beforehand to keep conversation flowing and avoid being outed as an ignorant expat.

5. As a foreigner, you're probably here to work. But many Germans your age may well still be studying, even into their early 30s. This doesn't mean your date is endlessly retaking exams, but may rule out a number of conversational gambits.

Valentine photo 36871109.jpg

Click here for dating tips in pictures

6. Don't worry about your German skills - they will probably speak English better than you speak German, or even English for that matter.

7. Expect to split the bill for dinner - a German woman will mean it when she offers to pay half, while a German man will accept even your most half-hearted suggestion to share. Cut the squabbling and go Dutch.

8. Managed to make your way back to theirs and into a state of undress? Don't panic when the hairy bits are in different places than you might expect - shaved armpits, chests and nether regions can be common on men - and less common on women. Embrace it, a little role reversal never did any harm.

9. Germans seem to have an unfathomable propensity for sickening nicknames, so get used to be called Mausi, (little mouse) Schatzi, (little treasure), Zaubermaus (magic mouse) and, The Local's personal favourite, Kuschelbär (cuddly bear).

10. Finally; single and hoping to meet that special someone in a bar? Think again because unlike Anglo friends, Germans tend to be less inclined to go scouting for a night of passion in the country's many, many watering holes. This means that you'll likely arrive and leave with the same people you went out with.

Related links:

The Local (news@thelocal.de)

Your comments about this article

12:25 February 14, 2013 by yllusion
This was pretty funny :-) Liked it.
13:11 February 14, 2013 by Firmino
Good article! It was quite funny and has good advice. I haven't been living in Germany for very long so some useful tips for me here!
13:32 February 14, 2013 by ichbines
Better yet, go home! Don't stop on go don't collect 200 dollars, just go home!
13:37 February 14, 2013 by The-ex-pat
Germans like bikes, so if you are confident enough to mix a few Rieslings with two wheels, go to a date on your bike........

Are you really advocating drink driving Local, you do know that pedal bike or car the law sees no difference in Germany....??
14:18 February 14, 2013 by Omufu
The-ex-pat is right! If you drink and cycle you can get points deducted from your car license :P
14:21 February 14, 2013 by Firmino
Yeah, drinking and riding a bike is a really stupid thing to do.
16:02 February 14, 2013 by ELDUDERINO
But I like doing stupid things. It's part of my cultural makeup.

Also, you need to have a drivers licence in order to have points added to it...
16:04 February 14, 2013 by Lykurgus
Drinking gives me the courage to ride a bike in Germany.

Especially when the streets are narrow.
16:17 February 14, 2013 by rugbycoach
In Germany, if you are cycling on a designated cycle path you are allowed to be twice the driving alcohol limit. This does not apply sharing the road where the usual limit applies.
19:10 February 14, 2013 by The-ex-pat
16:02 February 14, 2013 by ELDUDERINO

But I like doing stupid things. It's part of my cultural makeup.

Also, you need to have a drivers licence in order to have points added to it...

Try it and you will see how wrong you are..........You can also be in the situation where you will be required to take the idiot test to be able to ride your bike again. This has been reported more than one here.

16:17 February 14, 2013 by rugbycoach

In Germany, if you are cycling on a designated cycle path you are allowed to be twice the driving alcohol limit. This does not apply sharing the road where the usual limit applies.

Again, give it a whirl and see how long you are without your four wheel Pferd.....

http://bicyclegermany.com/german_bicycle_laws.html
04:19 February 15, 2013 by RainerL
Yes! Go home and save your money before blowing it on Pussy
08:23 February 15, 2013 by Bryant2012
LOL. I couldn't have said it any better RainerL:)
17:10 February 22, 2013 by CoolBlueIce
I've often wondered how people get together in Germany to make baby Germans in the first place. I've dated women from lots of different countries and no one even comes close to the "unnahbar" women in Germany.

For example, try flirting with a woman on a bus. In 1/100th of a second you will get the death glance messages that translates to, "Drop your eye contact now or risk my using this giant meat hook, which I keep in my purse for just such occasions, to hang you upside down by your testicles from yonder tree."

I know that's a lot of information to convey in 1/100th of a second, but somehow they get the job done.
21:24 February 27, 2013 by Bigfoot76
CoolBlueIce said "I've often wondered how people get together in Germany to make baby Germans in the first place".

Well that is the problem we are having here. People are not getting together and making "baby Germans". The population is in decline. We better start sending those ladies to the bar to meet men eh?
Today's headlines
EU investigates Germany over airport security
Photo: DPA

EU investigates Germany over airport security

The European Commission said on Thursday that it had referred Germany to the EU Court of Justice for failing to regularly check up on its airport security measures at some airports. READ  

Germans want to keep their hands on cash
Germans still trust cash over other forms of payment. Photo: DPA

Germans want to keep their hands on cash

Confirming conservative stereotypes, Germans have come out strongly in favour of sticking to hard cash in conducting transactions, a survey published on Thursday showed. READ  

This week in history
Fassbinder: New German Film's Enfant Terrible
Rainer Fassbinder on set in 1977. Photo: DPA

Fassbinder: New German Film's Enfant Terrible

On Sunday May 31st, Rainer Weiner Fassbinder, one of the most influential German film directors, would have turned 70 - had it not been for his death at the age of 37 in 1982. The Local takes a look back at the life and work of the enfant terrible of New German Cinema. READ  

Cool caps reduce hair loss during chemo
Photo: DPA

Cool caps reduce hair loss during chemo

German scientists are trialling a special scalp-cooling cap which helps reduce hair loss for cancer patients going through chemotherapy. READ  

Industry: 'doped' growth boosting economy
A man assembling food processors in a Wuppertal factory. Photo: DPA

Industry: 'doped' growth boosting economy

The German Chambers of Commerce and Industry (DIHK) warned on Thursday that a fresh burst of economic confidence might be unfounded, even as they raised their growth projections for 2015. READ  

Slow-moving fighter jet blocks Autobahn traffic
A Eurofighter jet stopped up traffic on Thursday because it was so wide. Photo: DPA.

Slow-moving fighter jet blocks Autobahn traffic

A damaged Eurofighter plane being pulled by a truck along the autobahn was so wide that it blocked three lanes of traffic on its way to being repaired in Bavaria on Thursday, drawing the ire of fellow drivers. READ  

Right-wing leader suffers restaurant attack
AfD co-leader Frauke Petry. Photo: DPA

Right-wing leader suffers restaurant attack

Frauke Petry, co-leader of Alternative for Germany (AfD), was attacked by masked assailants while eating in a restaurant on Wednesday evening. READ  

Court rejects case against US drone strikes
An American MQ-9 "Reaper" unmanned drone. Photo: U.S. Air Force/Paul Ridgeway/dpa

Court rejects case against US drone strikes

A German court on Wednesday rejected a complaint by three Yemenis demanding that Berlin bar Washington from using a US base on its territory to operate deadly drones. READ  

Gay marriage: Germany still says 'No'
A gay couple in Stuttgart. Photo: DPA.

Gay marriage: Germany still says 'No'

Germany's cabinet on Wednesday approved a raft of draft measures to extend the rights of same-sex couples, but faced criticism for allowing only civil unions, not full gay marriage. READ  

Spectre of Greece haunts G7 Dresden meeting
German Finance Minister Wolfgang Schäuble welcomes his G7 colleagues to Dresden. Photo: DPA

Spectre of Greece haunts G7 Dresden meeting

Finance ministers and central bank governors of the Group of Seven wealthiest nations gathered in Dresden Thursday to discuss the global economy and tax evasion, but the Greek crisis was also high on everyone's minds. READ  

RECEIVE OUR NEWSLETTER AND ALERTS
Travel
Why the train strike is bad for passengers and workers
National
Meet Germany's Eurovision hope
Business & Money
Is 2015 a new moment for jobsharing?
Features
How the LGBT rights movement was born in Germany
National
Why you don't make bomb jokes at the airport
National
Why Germany needs a little less tipple
National
Who Germans and Americans trust... and don't
Politics
What the UK election means for Germany
National
Why Germany is great for mums
Features
The Germans with GI dads
Five ways Germany falls short on gay rights
Travel
Giant tortoise found riding Munich rail
National
FCK CPS? A-OK with court
Politics
Opinion: Brexit's dangers for Germany
Features
Smart kids all want to work for BMW
National
Minister shows off top Denglisch
National
Germany's 'other genocide' in Africa
National
Arms firms get a 'must do better' mark on ethics
Sport
Bayern's anticlimactic 25th Bundesliga win
Politics
A Greek learning politics in Germany
Features
The battle of the "Gates of Berlin"
National
Germany's 'very poor' lobbying record
National
Germany's favourite baby names of 2014
Politics
Merkel's 15 years at the top of German politics
Travel
Lowest of the low: how woman exploited Germanwings crash
Features
Spice up asparagus season with The Local's serving suggestions
Sport
Football and the €30,000 firework
Technology
Why scientists oppose killer robots
National
'Cannibal cop' gets 8 years
National
Which city is Germany's worst for drivers?
Technology
Electrifying 'Ostalgia'
National
Cologne Cathedral returns from space
Pupils mourn lost classmates
National
Freed after 25 years on death row
Shutterstock
Sponsored Article
10 things you didn’t know about Zagreb (and why you should go)
Is your workload 'out of control'? You're not alone...
Sponsored Article
What expat parents should ask before choosing a school
Features
Paddy's Day, Berlin style
National
Why east Germans are happy to get it on on camera
National
Uplifting thoughts to get you through the last week of winter
National
What would you do with a 250-year-old pretzel?
National
Who wants the Olympics more - Hamburg or Berlin?
Features
Just why is the German flag Schwarz, Rot, Gold?
Business & Money
Getting German workers and bosses thinking positive
Latest news from The Local in Austria

More news from Austria at thelocal.at

Latest news from The Local in Switzerland

More news from Switzerland at thelocal.ch

Latest news from The Local in Denmark

More news from Denmark at thelocal.dk

Latest news from The Local in Spain

More news from Spain at thelocal.es

Latest news from The Local in France

More news from France at thelocal.fr

Latest news from The Local in Italy

More news from Italy at thelocal.it

Latest news from The Local in Norway

More news from Norway at thelocal.no

Latest news from The Local in Sweden

More news from Sweden at thelocal.se

6,693
jobs available
Toytown Germany
Germany's English-speaking crowd