• Germany's news in English
 

Bikes and body hair - German Valentine tips

Published: 14 Feb 2013 10:34 GMT+01:00

1. Firstly, there is no fashionably late in Germany - be on time.

2. The date went well, and now you want to stalk them on Facebook. No chance; Germans take data protection and online privacy very seriously and if they haven't given themselves a fake name they may well have a completely private profile.

3. Germans like bikes, so if you are confident enough to mix a few Rieslings with two wheels, go to a date on your bike, as they likely will too. It's the helmet dilemma - risk arriving with squashed hair or getting brain damage when falling off on the way home?

4. Directness can be a blessing and a curse but to Germans it's the only way. This may reduce small-talk to a minimum. Browse a couple of newspapers beforehand to keep conversation flowing and avoid being outed as an ignorant expat.

5. As a foreigner, you're probably here to work. But many Germans your age may well still be studying, even into their early 30s. This doesn't mean your date is endlessly retaking exams, but may rule out a number of conversational gambits.

Valentine photo 36871109.jpg

Click here for dating tips in pictures

6. Don't worry about your German skills - they will probably speak English better than you speak German, or even English for that matter.

7. Expect to split the bill for dinner - a German woman will mean it when she offers to pay half, while a German man will accept even your most half-hearted suggestion to share. Cut the squabbling and go Dutch.

8. Managed to make your way back to theirs and into a state of undress? Don't panic when the hairy bits are in different places than you might expect - shaved armpits, chests and nether regions can be common on men - and less common on women. Embrace it, a little role reversal never did any harm.

9. Germans seem to have an unfathomable propensity for sickening nicknames, so get used to be called Mausi, (little mouse) Schatzi, (little treasure), Zaubermaus (magic mouse) and, The Local's personal favourite, Kuschelbär (cuddly bear).

10. Finally; single and hoping to meet that special someone in a bar? Think again because unlike Anglo friends, Germans tend to be less inclined to go scouting for a night of passion in the country's many, many watering holes. This means that you'll likely arrive and leave with the same people you went out with.

Related links:

The Local (news@thelocal.de)

Your comments about this article

12:25 February 14, 2013 by yllusion
This was pretty funny :-) Liked it.
13:11 February 14, 2013 by Firmino
Good article! It was quite funny and has good advice. I haven't been living in Germany for very long so some useful tips for me here!
13:32 February 14, 2013 by ichbines
Better yet, go home! Don't stop on go don't collect 200 dollars, just go home!
13:37 February 14, 2013 by The-ex-pat
Germans like bikes, so if you are confident enough to mix a few Rieslings with two wheels, go to a date on your bike........

Are you really advocating drink driving Local, you do know that pedal bike or car the law sees no difference in Germany....??
14:18 February 14, 2013 by Omufu
The-ex-pat is right! If you drink and cycle you can get points deducted from your car license :P
14:21 February 14, 2013 by Firmino
Yeah, drinking and riding a bike is a really stupid thing to do.
16:02 February 14, 2013 by ELDUDERINO
But I like doing stupid things. It's part of my cultural makeup.

Also, you need to have a drivers licence in order to have points added to it...
16:04 February 14, 2013 by Lykurgus
Drinking gives me the courage to ride a bike in Germany.

Especially when the streets are narrow.
16:17 February 14, 2013 by rugbycoach
In Germany, if you are cycling on a designated cycle path you are allowed to be twice the driving alcohol limit. This does not apply sharing the road where the usual limit applies.
19:10 February 14, 2013 by The-ex-pat
16:02 February 14, 2013 by ELDUDERINO

But I like doing stupid things. It's part of my cultural makeup.

Also, you need to have a drivers licence in order to have points added to it...

Try it and you will see how wrong you are..........You can also be in the situation where you will be required to take the idiot test to be able to ride your bike again. This has been reported more than one here.

16:17 February 14, 2013 by rugbycoach

In Germany, if you are cycling on a designated cycle path you are allowed to be twice the driving alcohol limit. This does not apply sharing the road where the usual limit applies.

Again, give it a whirl and see how long you are without your four wheel Pferd.....

http://bicyclegermany.com/german_bicycle_laws.html
04:19 February 15, 2013 by RainerL
Yes! Go home and save your money before blowing it on Pussy
08:23 February 15, 2013 by Bryant2012
LOL. I couldn't have said it any better RainerL:)
17:10 February 22, 2013 by CoolBlueIce
I've often wondered how people get together in Germany to make baby Germans in the first place. I've dated women from lots of different countries and no one even comes close to the "unnahbar" women in Germany.

For example, try flirting with a woman on a bus. In 1/100th of a second you will get the death glance messages that translates to, "Drop your eye contact now or risk my using this giant meat hook, which I keep in my purse for just such occasions, to hang you upside down by your testicles from yonder tree."

I know that's a lot of information to convey in 1/100th of a second, but somehow they get the job done.
21:24 February 27, 2013 by Bigfoot76
CoolBlueIce said "I've often wondered how people get together in Germany to make baby Germans in the first place".

Well that is the problem we are having here. People are not getting together and making "baby Germans". The population is in decline. We better start sending those ladies to the bar to meet men eh?
Today's headlines
Germanwings tragedy
Germany learns lessons on pilots’ mental health
Transport Minister Alexander Dobrindt (left) and aviation safety task force leader Matthias von Randow. Photo: DPA:

Germany learns lessons on pilots’ mental health

In response to the Germanwings flight tragedy, Minister of Transport Alexander Dobrindt presented plans to strengthen mental health care for pilots while Germanwings announced further compensation for relatives of the flight's victims. READ  

Germany: land of cheap beer and drunkards?
Getting müllered? Football star Thomas Müller enjoys a Mass. Photo: DPA

Germany: land of cheap beer and drunkards?

It's official. If getting drunk on a park bench is your thing, look no further than Germany as an ideal location. A study released on Monday shows it's cheap. And you'll have plenty of company. READ  

Greece crisis
Schäuble: Greece will stay in Euro regardless
People demonstrate in favour of a 'no' vote in Greece's Sunday referendum on Monday night. Photo: DPA

Schäuble: Greece will stay in Euro regardless

UPDATE: Speaking to MPs from his Christian Democratic Union (CDU) on Tuesday, Finance Minister Wolfgang Schäuble said that Greece will stay in the eurozone even if the Greek public vote 'no' on July 5th. READ  

Fare-dodging fine jumps from €40 to €60
Photo: DPA.

Fare-dodging fine jumps from €40 to €60

Nationwide fines for people who ride public transit without a proper ticket will increase from €40 to €60 starting on Wednesday in some cities, the first time the penalty has been increased in 12 years. READ  

Far-right attacks on asylum homes soar
A sign reading "stop Nazis" hangs from a lamppost. Photo: DPA

Far-right attacks on asylum homes soar

The number of attacks on asylum seekers' accommodation by violent far-right groups in Germany is on course to double in 2015 after tripling between 2013 and 2014, the Interior Ministry said on Tuesday. READ  

How Germany will deal with the leap second
A scientist works with an atomic clock at the Federal Physics-Technology Institute (PTB) in Braunschweig. Photo: DPA

How Germany will deal with the leap second

Germany's top time scientists are ready to spring into action in the dead of night on Tuesday, inserting an extra second into the clock while everyone else is asleep. READ  

German unemployment hits historic low
Photo: DPA

German unemployment hits historic low

German unemployment remained at historically low levels in June as the recovery in Europe's biggest economy remained on track, data showed on Tuesday. READ  

Greece crisis
Germany's Greeks look anxiously homeward
Antonius Chantzaras in his kiosk. Photo: DPA

Germany's Greeks look anxiously homeward

As crisis engulfs their homeland, members of the Greek community in Germany look anxiously homeward and reflect on how the crisis is already traveling back to Germany. READ  

Women's World Cup
Semi-final clash with US 'like a final'
Germany coach Silvia Neid. Photo: DPA

Semi-final clash with US 'like a final'

Ahead of Tuesday's semi-final clash against the Unites States in the Women's World Cup, Germany coach Silvia Neid warned that her team would not be relinquishing their status as the world's number one team yet. READ  

Germanwings co-pilot buried in silence
A man walks past a makeshift memorial to the Germanwings flight 4U9525 victims in Düsseldorf airport. Photo: DPA

Germanwings co-pilot buried in silence

As the co-pilot who steered Germanwings flight 4U9525 into the French Alps in March was buried on Monday, the authorities prepared to unveil the first steps they will take to improve air safety. READ  

RECEIVE OUR NEWSLETTER AND ALERTS
Society
An eye for an eye? Mum protects child in playground with pepperspray
Politics
Follow our LIVE blog as Europe holds breath over Greece crisis
National
As it happened: Queen Elizabeth's final day in Germany
National
As it happened: Queen Elizabeth's second day in Germany
National
Queen Elizabeth II's first day in Germany - as it happened
National
Bus passengers tell fake racists where to get off
Politics
What's really in the Queen's handbag?
National
Germans say USA doesn't respect freedom
National
Yes, you CAN buy adult e-books before 10pm in Germany
VIDEO: Watch a 93-metre turbine crash to earth in slow motion
Gallery
Who's got a shot at the German Film Awards
Rhineland
Anger over 'child-free' beer garden
National
How do you do, Majestät?
National
Man defends right to pee in public with tear gas
Features
The Germans who won Waterloo for the British
Frankfurt
Should Germany ban circus animals?
Hamburg
Where people are having the most sex in Germany
Culture
Who Wants to be a Millionaire? Not this student...
National
Dresden's three-decade-long red light
Politics
Upper house calls for gay marriage now
Berlin
Berlin named 3rd-best city worldwide
Sport
In search of the toughest firefighter
Business & Money
German firms shine for European engineering students
Gallery
Hitler's paintings up for auction
National
German's 70-year search for murdered US pilot
Politics
What the G7 leaders agreed at Elmau
Business & Money
What really makes Germans happy
National
Playmobil builder leaves worldwide legacy
National
The car share that became a drug run
Politics
What Snowden revealed to Germany
Rhineland
Why wolf cubs are being raised by hand
National
Hitler's booze cave found
National
Environment makes Germany worth living in
Culture
What's top of the charts in June
Gallery
Germany's most beautiful cycle routes
Business & Money
The business case for Britain in the EU
Rhineland
Why farmers are free to pong up the countryside
National
German restaurants among world's best
Latest news from The Local in Austria

More news from Austria at thelocal.at

Latest news from The Local in Switzerland

More news from Switzerland at thelocal.ch

Latest news from The Local in Denmark

More news from Denmark at thelocal.dk

Latest news from The Local in Spain

More news from Spain at thelocal.es

Latest news from The Local in France

More news from France at thelocal.fr

Latest news from The Local in Italy

More news from Italy at thelocal.it

Latest news from The Local in Norway

More news from Norway at thelocal.no

Latest news from The Local in Sweden

More news from Sweden at thelocal.se

6,736
jobs available
Toytown Germany
Germany's English-speaking crowd