The Local’s guide to Christmas in Germany

The Local’s guide to Christmas in Germany

If you need a nudge to get into the Yuletide spirit or want a break from bingeing on baked goods, be sure to take a look at The Local’s special Christmas coverage this holiday season.

Merry Christmas, watch out for blood-sucking ticks on the tree!

Merry Christmas, watch out for blood-sucking ticks on the tree!

Myth-testing teenager injures tongue on chilly lamppost

Myth-testing teenager injures tongue on chilly lamppost

The Local presents Portnoy’s podcast

The Local presents Portnoy’s podcast

Fire fighters use night vision camera to save child’s guinea pig

Fire fighters use night vision camera to save child’s guinea pig

Retiree makes emergency call for more toilet paper

Retiree makes emergency call for more toilet paper

Bluish-green fireball sighted over northern Germany

Bluish-green fireball sighted over northern Germany

Germans go Google gaga for Megan Fox

Germans go Google gaga for Megan Fox

Tourist arrested at Disney World for fake bomb threat

Tourist arrested at Disney World for fake bomb threat

Remains of billionaire Flick found in Hungary

Remains of billionaire Flick found in Hungary

Tokio Hotel singer Bill laments lame love life

Tokio Hotel singer Bill laments lame love life

Editorial feud erects artistic sixteen-metre penis

Editorial feud erects artistic sixteen-metre penis

Dennis Rodman arrested after failing to pay for boozy party

Dennis Rodman arrested after failing to pay for boozy party

Fire brigade bills fairground ride victims for rescue

Fire brigade bills fairground ride victims for rescue

U-Bahn train found filled with autumn foliage in Berlin

U-Bahn train found filled with autumn foliage in Berlin

Police nab serial ‘paddling pool slasher’ after 7 years

Police nab serial ‘paddling pool slasher’ after 7 years

Germany-denying beauty king fights cops with guns, teeth

Germany-denying beauty king fights cops with guns, teeth

Worried neighbours alert police to parrot’s cry for help

Worried neighbours alert police to parrot’s cry for help

Man faces fine after assaulting car with jumbo sausage

Man faces fine after assaulting car with jumbo sausage

Scheisse Ship: the greatest viral story that never was

Scheisse Ship: the greatest viral story that never was

Chinese tourist loses wallet, becomes refugee by mistake

Chinese tourist loses wallet, becomes refugee by mistake

11-year-old boy steals bus, passengers don’t notice

11-year-old boy steals bus, passengers don’t notice

German flashmob sparks ‘terror attack’ panic in Spain

German flashmob sparks ‘terror attack’ panic in Spain

Renegade horse herd runs amok in small Saxon town

Renegade horse herd runs amok in small Saxon town

Couple plant bomb at Lidl to earn place in the Spanish sun

Couple plant bomb at Lidl to earn place in the Spanish sun

MP resigns after getting away with whopper lie for a decade

MP resigns after getting away with whopper lie for a decade

Police settle dispute over farting, kissing vibrator

Police settle dispute over farting, kissing vibrator

Refugees ‘become German’ through voluntary fire fighting

Refugees ‘become German’ through voluntary fire fighting

Red-faced pensioner declares war on pre-recorded sexline

Red-faced pensioner declares war on pre-recorded sexline

Teacher overpaid quarter of a million euros. No one notices

Teacher overpaid quarter of a million euros. No one notices

Couple copulating on bridge shut down Autobahn

Couple copulating on bridge shut down Autobahn

Baby’s Day Out: 1-year-old travels alone up Autobahn

Baby’s Day Out: 1-year-old travels alone up Autobahn

Munich man collared by cops after offering to clean station

Munich man collared by cops after offering to clean station

Plane hits oncoming truck in Autobahn emergency landing

Plane hits oncoming truck in Autobahn emergency landing

Teacher takes pupil to court for calling him ‘retarded’

Teacher takes pupil to court for calling him ‘retarded’

‘Stalker’ cop fired for stealing police cadet’s bras repeatedly

‘Stalker’ cop fired for stealing police cadet’s bras repeatedly

Puzzled cops pull pair of legs out of bin for second time

Puzzled cops pull pair of legs out of bin for second time

Granny, 91, walks away after falling under express train

Granny, 91, walks away after falling under express train

Scooter singer finally reveals how much the fish cost

Scooter singer finally reveals how much the fish cost

Berlin politician crusades for health of skateboarding dog

Berlin politician crusades for health of skateboarding dog

Hero bin man saves child from 2nd storey plunge

Hero bin man saves child from 2nd storey plunge

German firm fights years-long battle to crack Rubik’s Cube

German firm fights years-long battle to crack Rubik’s Cube

1000s of smashed beer bottles bring Autobahn to standstill

1000s of smashed beer bottles bring Autobahn to standstill

Police snap parrot going at 1.5 times speed limit

Police snap parrot going at 1.5 times speed limit

Driver loses hearse in central Munich – corpse and all

Driver loses hearse in central Munich – corpse and all

Police catch 3-year-old joyriding in mother’s car

Police catch 3-year-old joyriding in mother’s car

Trial begins of woman who left newborn in airport toilet

Trial begins of woman who left newborn in airport toilet

Autobahn wurst war leads to drivers being fed over a fence

Autobahn wurst war leads to drivers being fed over a fence

Boys, 8, go on two-day robbery spree at toy store

Boys, 8, go on two-day robbery spree at toy store

Munich court tells lawyer he isn’t worth €8,000 an hour

Munich court tells lawyer he isn’t worth €8,000 an hour

Young man ‘surfs’ on train after forgetting bag inside

Young man ‘surfs’ on train after forgetting bag inside

Sausage fight breaks out at Mercedes shareholder buffet

Sausage fight breaks out at Mercedes shareholder buffet

Police called in after 11-year-old brings live shell to school

Police called in after 11-year-old brings live shell to school

Police force naked driver to trek to brothel on foot

Police force naked driver to trek to brothel on foot

Bavarian tractor driver runs amok and rams police station

Bavarian tractor driver runs amok and rams police station

Electric razor mishap closes German-Swiss border

Electric razor mishap closes German-Swiss border

Woman calls police after finding own husband in bed

Woman calls police after finding own husband in bed

Farmer saved after lying stuck under tractor for 3 days

Farmer saved after lying stuck under tractor for 3 days

Syrian refugees rescue neo-Nazi politician from car crash

Syrian refugees rescue neo-Nazi politician from car crash

Wig thieves make away with 600 different disguises

Wig thieves make away with 600 different disguises

Unlicensed, uninsured and drunk man smashes cop car

Unlicensed, uninsured and drunk man smashes cop car

Wild boar droves refuse to let Cologne dead rest in peace

Wild boar droves refuse to let Cologne dead rest in peace

4-meter python discovered on south German road

4-meter python discovered on south German road

Teen girl douses man in acid after he denied her a smoke

Teen girl douses man in acid after he denied her a smoke

Careless footballer fined for leaving €75,000 behind in taxi

Careless footballer fined for leaving €75,000 behind in taxi

Germany teaches refugees about the birds and the bees

Germany teaches refugees about the birds and the bees

Israel told: pay up for hapless spies who got stuck in mud

Israel told: pay up for hapless spies who got stuck in mud

Munich woman hunts down lost handbag in epic car chase

Munich woman hunts down lost handbag in epic car chase

Breaking Brandenburg: huge farm drug stash rumbled

Breaking Brandenburg: huge farm drug stash rumbled

Fatal cucumber sex game lands man in court

Fatal cucumber sex game lands man in court

Prank leaves Facebook ‘Nazis’ red in the face

Prank leaves Facebook ‘Nazis’ red in the face

Whole town tries to flee socialist east Germany

Whole town tries to flee socialist east Germany

German city says ‘nein’ to woman’s nine parrots

German city says ‘nein’ to woman’s nine parrots

Under terror suspicion for asking way to town square

Under terror suspicion for asking way to town square

Zoos show off animal lovebirds for Valentine crowds

Zoos show off animal lovebirds for Valentine crowds

Man plunges car into river Elbe on orders from satnav

Man plunges car into river Elbe on orders from satnav

Berlin police seize man who refuses to give up Döner

Berlin police seize man who refuses to give up Döner

Couple destroy stranger’s car with vigorous carnival sex

Couple destroy stranger’s car with vigorous carnival sex

3 football prodigies nabbed after planning casino heist

3 football prodigies nabbed after planning casino heist

Refugee saves reveller who fell into Rhine while peeing

Refugee saves reveller who fell into Rhine while peeing

Artist inspired after clumsy cleaner bins her masterpiece

Artist inspired after clumsy cleaner bins her masterpiece

Senior gets €12k in damages after slipping on orange

Senior gets €12k in damages after slipping on orange

Seniors’ Xmas ragout turns out to be dog food

Seniors’ Xmas ragout turns out to be dog food

€2.4 million Stradivarius left on train by violinist

€2.4 million Stradivarius left on train by violinist

Berlin zoo elephants snack on Christmas trees

Berlin zoo elephants snack on Christmas trees

Woman calls police to report stale pizza rolls

Woman calls police to report stale pizza rolls

Millions in gold dug up in Bavarian garden

Millions in gold dug up in Bavarian garden

Cold weather hobbles 1/3 of Berlin police cars

Cold weather hobbles 1/3 of Berlin police cars

Woman throws away 1000s of euros in cash

Woman throws away 1000s of euros in cash

Police warn mum-in-law over booze-filled sweets

Police warn mum-in-law over booze-filled sweets

German thief pays price of love for sausage

German thief pays price of love for sausage

Woman sends thieves packing with one punch

Woman sends thieves packing with one punch

Pensioners welcomed at asylum home ‘restaurant’

Pensioners welcomed at asylum home ‘restaurant’

Tomcat missing for ten years finally comes home

Tomcat missing for ten years finally comes home

Bavarian boy is Europe rabbit breeding champ

Bavarian boy is Europe rabbit breeding champ

The Berlin U-Bahn is OK with you being weird

The Berlin U-Bahn is OK with you being weird

Naked chicken thief fails to make a splash

Naked chicken thief fails to make a splash

Not-so-wild boar finds home in herd of cows

Not-so-wild boar finds home in herd of cows

Road deaths end after town hires ‘miracle man’

Road deaths end after town hires ‘miracle man’

Speeder chides cops for their ‘reckless’ behaviour

Speeder chides cops for their ‘reckless’ behaviour

Vandals steal digger for speed camera vengeance

Vandals steal digger for speed camera vengeance

Monkey ‘gymnast’ on Autobahn stumps cops

Monkey ‘gymnast’ on Autobahn stumps cops

Schweini gets Chinese Nazi doll doppelgänger

Schweini gets Chinese Nazi doll doppelgänger

Cat hungover after seven week boozing session

Cat hungover after seven week boozing session

Firefighters rescue pet fish from aquarium blaze

Firefighters rescue pet fish from aquarium blaze

Tractor driver leads cops on 12-hour chase

Tractor driver leads cops on 12-hour chase

Delivery driver loses cool over sexy van ad

Delivery driver loses cool over sexy van ad

Police answer son’s plea over awful dad music

Police answer son’s plea over awful dad music

Wacky animal phrases to goose your German

Wacky animal phrases to goose your German

Forestry boss’ mishap sparks forest fire

Forestry boss’ mishap sparks forest fire

Nine tasty German food and drink idioms

Nine tasty German food and drink idioms

Johann the pig’s udderly adorable new family

Johann the pig’s udderly adorable new family

€20k in shredded euro notes puzzles cops

€20k in shredded euro notes puzzles cops

Spiders with ‘love bites’ puzzle scientists

Spiders with ‘love bites’ puzzle scientists

Engineer builds rapid fire ‘paper plane gun’

Engineer builds rapid fire ‘paper plane gun’

Mass homeopathic drug trip puzzles police

Mass homeopathic drug trip puzzles police

Cheeky thief caught after returning for swag bag

Cheeky thief caught after returning for swag bag

Orang-utan shot after shocking zoo breakout

Orang-utan shot after shocking zoo breakout

German named ‘arse bombing’ world champ

German named ‘arse bombing’ world champ

Honest senior rewarded for handing in €12,000

Honest senior rewarded for handing in €12,000

German gadget clamps down on Nutella thieves

German gadget clamps down on Nutella thieves

Four-legged Bavarian hitch-hiker gets free ride

Four-legged Bavarian hitch-hiker gets free ride

Retiree finds parked car after three-week search

Retiree finds parked car after three-week search

Honest pensioner hands in €12,000 bin find

Honest pensioner hands in €12,000 bin find

Firemen save parrot, owner from 20m perch

Firemen save parrot, owner from 20m perch

Teen swimmer finds €16,000 gold bar in lake

Teen swimmer finds €16,000 gold bar in lake

Meet some of Germany’s famous lefties

Meet some of Germany’s famous lefties

Nuremberg produces record 460m pencil

Nuremberg produces record 460m pencil

Man promises to stop coffin naps in public

Man promises to stop coffin naps in public

Wallaby goes walkabout in Berlin outback

Wallaby goes walkabout in Berlin outback

Six odd ways Germans talk about the weather

Six odd ways Germans talk about the weather

Miss Farewell: the beauty contest to die for

Miss Farewell: the beauty contest to die for

Hen adopts flock of abandoned rhea chicks

Hen adopts flock of abandoned rhea chicks

Police put aggressive squirrel behind bars

Police put aggressive squirrel behind bars

Hamburg welcomes new addition to elephant herd

Hamburg welcomes new addition to elephant herd

Teen girl’s movie evening turns into police brawl

Teen girl’s movie evening turns into police brawl

Pegida supporter riled by T-Shirt print snub

Pegida supporter riled by T-Shirt print snub

East Germans find real-life money tree

East Germans find real-life money tree

Lion cub raised in living room leaves home

Lion cub raised in living room leaves home

Weathermen issue snow alert in heatwave

Weathermen issue snow alert in heatwave

Women trade punches over neglected dog poo

Women trade punches over neglected dog poo

Feisty mum attacks kids with pepperspray

Feisty mum attacks kids with pepperspray

Boy sues classmate over sore bottom

Boy sues classmate over sore bottom

Helene Fischer stolen from apartment stairwell

Helene Fischer stolen from apartment stairwell

Jilted husband saws all wife’s things in half

Jilted husband saws all wife’s things in half

German traffic light stays red for 28 years

German traffic light stays red for 28 years

Circus owner: activists freed killer elephant

Circus owner: activists freed killer elephant

Fare-dodger leaps from train to escape fine

Fare-dodger leaps from train to escape fine

Lady Gaga named Germany’s prettiest cow

Lady Gaga named Germany’s prettiest cow

Police start ‘manhunt’ in the name of love

Police start ‘manhunt’ in the name of love

Scooter senior saved from Autobahn

Scooter senior saved from Autobahn

Cop’s pistol vanishes during toilet break

Cop’s pistol vanishes during toilet break

Wannabe butcher’s home Wurst factory closed

Wannabe butcher’s home Wurst factory closed

Belligerent beaver bites Bavarian bystanders

Belligerent beaver bites Bavarian bystanders

Hand-raised cubs to boost wolf numbers

Hand-raised cubs to boost wolf numbers

Poo smell in the country is legal: court

Poo smell in the country is legal: court

Shocked fishermen hook a shell of a catch

Shocked fishermen hook a shell of a catch

83-year-old gets second drug dealing sentence

83-year-old gets second drug dealing sentence

Autobahn driver suffers drone windscreen smash

Autobahn driver suffers drone windscreen smash

Police seize tiny lamb from Munich brothel

Police seize tiny lamb from Munich brothel

Police give forgetful senior €44k ‘birthday gift’

Police give forgetful senior €44k ‘birthday gift’

Biker brawl breaks out at Cologne hospital

Biker brawl breaks out at Cologne hospital

Shopkeeper fends off robber using lollipops

Shopkeeper fends off robber using lollipops

Munich man hurls white mice at passersby

Munich man hurls white mice at passersby

Munich police save giant tortoise from train tracks

Munich police save giant tortoise from train tracks

Munich toddler safe after late-night adventure

Munich toddler safe after late-night adventure

Kids’ school trip cancelled over wolf fears

Kids’ school trip cancelled over wolf fears

Drugged teenager in high speed Munich chase

Drugged teenager in high speed Munich chase

Pensions office demands €4.6 quadrillion

Pensions office demands €4.6 quadrillion

Spoof hails Varoufakis: puts ‘hell’ in ‘Hellenica’

Spoof hails Varoufakis: puts ‘hell’ in ‘Hellenica’

Man goes viral with story of girlfriend hating car

Man goes viral with story of girlfriend hating car

Police catch teen who stole island’s only car

Police catch teen who stole island’s only car

Iran win at Berlinale a ‘free speech triumph’

Iran win at Berlinale a ‘free speech triumph’

Some very Denglisch Valentines

Some very Denglisch Valentines

Karneval revellers keep first responders busy

Karneval revellers keep first responders busy

Ex-prisoner sues Berlin for ‘too small’ jail cells

Ex-prisoner sues Berlin for ‘too small’ jail cells

British tank crashes into family garden

British tank crashes into family garden

Stars shine in Berlinale weekend events

Stars shine in Berlinale weekend events

Man loses driving license over passive pot

Man loses driving license over passive pot

Health insurer wrongly claims woman dead

Health insurer wrongly claims woman dead

Roll out the red carpet: Berlinale begins tonight

Roll out the red carpet: Berlinale begins tonight

Five spots for Berlinale celeb-spotting

Five spots for Berlinale celeb-spotting

Bauhaus villa scammer gets probation for plot

Bauhaus villa scammer gets probation for plot

Bavaria police nab serial kindergarten thief

Bavaria police nab serial kindergarten thief

Camels’ bid for freedom causes traffic chaos

Camels’ bid for freedom causes traffic chaos

Young man’s ‘ninja day’ sows havoc in Munich

Young man’s ‘ninja day’ sows havoc in Munich

Janosch the dog gets TV licence bill

Janosch the dog gets TV licence bill

Munich mechanics free cat from car’s engine

Munich mechanics free cat from car’s engine

Survey shows when Germans lie most

Survey shows when Germans lie most

Germans strip off for ‘No Pants Subway Ride’

Germans strip off for ‘No Pants Subway Ride’

Hitler’s bunker to be rebuilt

Hitler’s bunker to be rebuilt

RIP Zippe – fugitive kangaroo found dead

RIP Zippe – fugitive kangaroo found dead

Police put a spoke in bike thieves’ wheels

Police put a spoke in bike thieves’ wheels

Reward offered for €150k homing pigeon

Reward offered for €150k homing pigeon

Bertolt Brecht statue hit with potato salad

Bertolt Brecht statue hit with potato salad

Man tries to open plane door over Munich

Man tries to open plane door over Munich

Over half of Christmas trees carry pesticides

Over half of Christmas trees carry pesticides

Salesmen’s sex orgies find home in museum

Salesmen’s sex orgies find home in museum

Man calls police wanting a spot in prison

Man calls police wanting a spot in prison

Police seek owner of bagged rabbit

Police seek owner of bagged rabbit

Firefighters free child from washing machine

Firefighters free child from washing machine

Leipzig police seek testicle biter

Leipzig police seek testicle biter

Crafty kangaroo on the loose in Brandenburg

Crafty kangaroo on the loose in Brandenburg

‘Horrific’ scene as rampaging cows shot

‘Horrific’ scene as rampaging cows shot

Bewigged robbers hit Aachen bank

Bewigged robbers hit Aachen bank

City wants cash from anti-Nazi activist

City wants cash from anti-Nazi activist

Police arrest landlord for naked showings

Police arrest landlord for naked showings

Woman slept next to mother’s body for 5 years

Woman slept next to mother’s body for 5 years

Man sues Munich for towing golden Ferrari

Man sues Munich for towing golden Ferrari

Owner pays up on €10K dog rescue bill

Owner pays up on €10K dog rescue bill

Two men charged after sex shop tantrum

Two men charged after sex shop tantrum

NRW police capture rogue kangaroo

NRW police capture rogue kangaroo

Munich customs find 200 dead birds in a suitcase

Munich customs find 200 dead birds in a suitcase

Thief distracts staff by squirting her breast milk

Thief distracts staff by squirting her breast milk

Which high school cliche is your city?

Which high school cliche is your city?

Tourists stranded on cable car over Rhine

Tourists stranded on cable car over Rhine

Police stop slow truck and find two tigers

Police stop slow truck and find two tigers

Crash gives pigs brief reprieve from slaughter

Crash gives pigs brief reprieve from slaughter

Berlin robbers hand back uncool mobile phone

Berlin robbers hand back uncool mobile phone

Hunter shoots hunter in Bavarian mishap

Hunter shoots hunter in Bavarian mishap

Slot machine saves gambler from prison

Slot machine saves gambler from prison

Girl, 6, crashes car on shopping trip

Girl, 6, crashes car on shopping trip

Police pin down Lidl meat needle culprit

Police pin down Lidl meat needle culprit

Mushroom pickers find human skull

Mushroom pickers find human skull

U-Bahn sex pair shock Berlin commuters

U-Bahn sex pair shock Berlin commuters

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Petrol station robbers do take ‘no’ for an answer

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Lost shoppers drive 700km around Germany

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Scotland-Germany draw (at rock, paper, scissors)

Over 30 pets rescued from animal hoarder

Over 30 pets rescued from animal hoarder

Sex party ‘desecrates’ Bavarian royal spa

Sex party ‘desecrates’ Bavarian royal spa

Student busted in case of misdelivered hash

Student busted in case of misdelivered hash

Want to avoid driving fines? Swap seats

Want to avoid driving fines? Swap seats

Elk freed from Dresden office building

Elk freed from Dresden office building

Size does matter in this case, rules judge

Size does matter in this case, rules judge

Pony-drawn wheelchair ride ends in injury

Pony-drawn wheelchair ride ends in injury

Guru and mum refused sick son medicine

Guru and mum refused sick son medicine

Lost goat halts Munich Airport trains

Lost goat halts Munich Airport trains

Father killed in ‘cold water challenge’

Father killed in ‘cold water challenge’

Löw to remain Germany coach to 2016

Löw to remain Germany coach to 2016

Yoga helped Jogi’s boys bring World Cup home

Yoga helped Jogi’s boys bring World Cup home

Thousands of litres of beer close motorway

Thousands of litres of beer close motorway

Germans damage World Cup trophy at afterparty

Germans damage World Cup trophy at afterparty

Is this expat cat the world’s oldest?

Is this expat cat the world’s oldest?

Burglars steal 300,000 litres of beer

Burglars steal 300,000 litres of beer

Ancient plane crashes, injuring two

Ancient plane crashes, injuring two

Beer bike crash sparks mass brawl

Beer bike crash sparks mass brawl

Police sorry for fining one-armed bike rider

Police sorry for fining one-armed bike rider

Sales agent jailed for cooking man’s head

Sales agent jailed for cooking man’s head

Cleaner falls in giant meat grinder and dies

Cleaner falls in giant meat grinder and dies

Horse caught on speed camera saves driver

Horse caught on speed camera saves driver

US student gets stuck in giant vulva

US student gets stuck in giant vulva

Mystery dog appears in locked car

Mystery dog appears in locked car

Woman finds bag with €80,000 on Munich train

Woman finds bag with €80,000 on Munich train

Court: Dead workers have right to holidays

Court: Dead workers have right to holidays

Customs fine man €15,000 for car mistake

Customs fine man €15,000 for car mistake

Bulky ballet dancer sues club for barre break

Bulky ballet dancer sues club for barre break

Police appeal over Berlin prison break

Police appeal over Berlin prison break

Man finds €18,000 on street, hands it in

Man finds €18,000 on street, hands it in

Entire family struck by lightning

Entire family struck by lightning

4,700 ducks shut motorway after crash

4,700 ducks shut motorway after crash

Toddler survives 18-km running board stunt

Toddler survives 18-km running board stunt

VIDEO: Politicians turn to cow to get out the vote

VIDEO: Politicians turn to cow to get out the vote

Woman, 86, damages 11 parked cars

Woman, 86, damages 11 parked cars

Footballer in trouble for throwing a kebab

Footballer in trouble for throwing a kebab

Court jails ‘Nutella gang’ for 15 years

Court jails ‘Nutella gang’ for 15 years

Turkey tourists lose call to prayer refund bid

Turkey tourists lose call to prayer refund bid

Biology pupils find horse in kebab meat test

Biology pupils find horse in kebab meat test

Elderly man taped €200,000 to his genitals

Elderly man taped €200,000 to his genitals

School kids hospitalized after ‘porno’ party

School kids hospitalized after ‘porno’ party

‘World’s oldest’ message in a bottle arrives home

‘World’s oldest’ message in a bottle arrives home

Boy, 5, finds treasure trove hidden in pond

Boy, 5, finds treasure trove hidden in pond

Seehofer: I slept through Merkel phone call

Seehofer: I slept through Merkel phone call

Town bans parents from calling child ‘Wikileaks’

Town bans parents from calling child ‘Wikileaks’

Woman, 71, jailed for stalking priest

Woman, 71, jailed for stalking priest

Thief caught selling phone back to victim

Thief caught selling phone back to victim

Germany nabs Vatican-bound cocaine condoms

Germany nabs Vatican-bound cocaine condoms

Zoo trumpets fifth baby elephant success

Zoo trumpets fifth baby elephant success

Camels get the hump and run away from the circus

Camels get the hump and run away from the circus

Nine-year-old girl takes on bag thieves

Nine-year-old girl takes on bag thieves

Woman in convertible showered in manure

Woman in convertible showered in manure

Removal men find live python in cupboard

Removal men find live python in cupboard

Ten more untranslatable German words

Ten more untranslatable German words

Mayor tries to ban sex party ship from lake

Mayor tries to ban sex party ship from lake

Girl, 3, caught riding motorbike

Girl, 3, caught riding motorbike

Fishermen find oldest message in a bottle

Fishermen find oldest message in a bottle

Germany’s 14 weirdest town slogans

Germany’s 14 weirdest town slogans

OAP takes wrong turn, gets lost for 20 hours

OAP takes wrong turn, gets lost for 20 hours

Headteacher in trouble for shouting ‘Sieg Heil’

Headteacher in trouble for shouting ‘Sieg Heil’

What will Germans give up for Lent?

What will Germans give up for Lent?

Doctors criticized for ‘cannabis can kill’ study

Doctors criticized for ‘cannabis can kill’ study

‘Supergeil’ supermarket ad goes viral

‘Supergeil’ supermarket ad goes viral

Thousands of euros shredded by accident

Thousands of euros shredded by accident

Germans beat Brits to world naked sledging title

Germans beat Brits to world naked sledging title

Thrifty ministers sleep in offices to save cash

Thrifty ministers sleep in offices to save cash

Horse moves into home and won’t leave

Horse moves into home and won’t leave

Merkel jet gatecrasher: I don’t remember anything

Merkel jet gatecrasher: I don’t remember anything

Underarm pepper spray mix-up clears club

Underarm pepper spray mix-up clears club

Car ‘arrests’ man who broke in to steal

Car ‘arrests’ man who broke in to steal

German doctors save man thanks to ‘House’

German doctors save man thanks to ‘House’

Dying man’s appeal to find his kids goes viral

Dying man’s appeal to find his kids goes viral

Manufacturer to thieves – stolen condoms unsafe

Manufacturer to thieves – stolen condoms unsafe

Gardener, 63, fined for accidental cannabis bush

Gardener, 63, fined for accidental cannabis bush

‘Amber’ bomb bits set man’s pants on fire

‘Amber’ bomb bits set man’s pants on fire

Germans undress for ‘No Pants Subway Ride’

Germans undress for ‘No Pants Subway Ride’

‘Fakes’ and woodcuts – Germany’s top UFOs

‘Fakes’ and woodcuts – Germany’s top UFOs

Dog poop study points to canine ‘inner compass’

Dog poop study points to canine ‘inner compass’

Man sets fire to flat after girlfriend dumps him

Man sets fire to flat after girlfriend dumps him

Police free boy, 6, from parents’ sexy handcuffs

Police free boy, 6, from parents’ sexy handcuffs

Ben and Mia – Germany’s top baby names

Ben and Mia – Germany’s top baby names

Naked motorcyclist is talk of the town

Naked motorcyclist is talk of the town

Parked car rolls 200 metres onto motorway

Parked car rolls 200 metres onto motorway

Funeral director hoards 67 urns in room

Funeral director hoards 67 urns in room

Smuggler swallowed 124 bags of drugs

Smuggler swallowed 124 bags of drugs

Germans prove Friday 13th is not unlucky

Germans prove Friday 13th is not unlucky

‘One-man prison’ cost €4.3 million

‘One-man prison’ cost €4.3 million

Germans fall out of love with Lebkuchen

Germans fall out of love with Lebkuchen

Berlin burglars steal 300 phones in one minute

Berlin burglars steal 300 phones in one minute

Deutsche Post completes first drone flight

Deutsche Post completes first drone flight

Hunter kills woman’s pet wild boar

Hunter kills woman’s pet wild boar

Berliner yanks American from water with scarf

Berliner yanks American from water with scarf

An arty refrigerator – yours for €64,000

An arty refrigerator – yours for €64,000

Woman hides in car to sober up after crash

Woman hides in car to sober up after crash

News of lawyer’s death ‘greatly exaggerated’

News of lawyer’s death ‘greatly exaggerated’

Glass recycling bins – Munich’s top attraction

Glass recycling bins – Munich’s top attraction

Poorly pug sparks court dog fight

Poorly pug sparks court dog fight

Man tries to smuggle €100,000 in his shoes

Man tries to smuggle €100,000 in his shoes

Thief returns wallet to pensioner six years on

Thief returns wallet to pensioner six years on

University unenrolls all of its students by mistake

University unenrolls all of its students by mistake

Escaped crabs cause train commotion

Escaped crabs cause train commotion

Bionic tortoise on a roll with Lego wheel

Bionic tortoise on a roll with Lego wheel

Drunk taxi request leads to Belgium

Drunk taxi request leads to Belgium

Taxi driver returns €250,000 to passengers

Taxi driver returns €250,000 to passengers

Drunk man falls asleep on top of horse

Drunk man falls asleep on top of horse

Thieves ‘steal and rape dog’ in Berlin

Thieves ‘steal and rape dog’ in Berlin

Villagers kill marten after attack spree

Villagers kill marten after attack spree

Graveyard cremates wrong body in mix-up

Graveyard cremates wrong body in mix-up

Judge sends ‘King of Germany’ to jail

Judge sends ‘King of Germany’ to jail

Germany wastes billions on bizarre projects

Germany wastes billions on bizarre projects

Former Miss Germany tries luck in Mexico

Former Miss Germany tries luck in Mexico

Airline offers new life… if you change your name

Airline offers new life… if you change your name

Husband forgets wife on honeymoon

Husband forgets wife on honeymoon

‘People who don’t believe in ghosts are scared’

‘People who don’t believe in ghosts are scared’

Letter declares living football legend ‘dead’

Letter declares living football legend ‘dead’

Your guide to all things German

Your guide to all things German

Top ten über-long German words

Top ten über-long German words

Germany’s ‘Porno King’ gives up empire

Germany’s ‘Porno King’ gives up empire

Business booms in Berlin graveyard cafe

Business booms in Berlin graveyard cafe

Vets: Dogs overdose on drug-user poop

Vets: Dogs overdose on drug-user poop

Hannover finds ‘Gypsy’ schnitzel tasteless

Hannover finds ‘Gypsy’ schnitzel tasteless

Police identify baby 25 years after death

Police identify baby 25 years after death

Apple drops trademark case against family café

Apple drops trademark case against family café

State leader sends Merkel error-packed note

State leader sends Merkel error-packed note

Germans celebrate once-in-a-lifetime holiday

Germans celebrate once-in-a-lifetime holiday

Attic ‘mummy’ mystery solved – it was plastic

Attic ‘mummy’ mystery solved – it was plastic

Merkel’s East Berlin flat – rent for €55 a night

Merkel’s East Berlin flat – rent for €55 a night

Tiger kills zookeeper during feeding time

Tiger kills zookeeper during feeding time

20 dead snakes found in bag, live ones on train

20 dead snakes found in bag, live ones on train

A €67m beer bill, 114 Oxen, and a lost Segway

A €67m beer bill, 114 Oxen, and a lost Segway

Court: homeopathy can’t cure erectile dysfunction

Court: homeopathy can’t cure erectile dysfunction

Nightclub invites guests to ‘catch a dwarf’

Nightclub invites guests to ‘catch a dwarf’

Police charge Berlin marathon intruder

Police charge Berlin marathon intruder

Firefighters fail to battle blaze in own building

Firefighters fail to battle blaze in own building

Berlin Zoo wins Knut polar bear court battle

Berlin Zoo wins Knut polar bear court battle

Town to drop Hitler honour after 80 years

Town to drop Hitler honour after 80 years

Village builds giant rake in search for turtle

Village builds giant rake in search for turtle

Merkel’s necklace gets its own Twitter account

Merkel’s necklace gets its own Twitter account

Tuba player: ‘Bonnet bonk wrecked my car’

Tuba player: ‘Bonnet bonk wrecked my car’

Shark bites off German swimmer’s arm

Shark bites off German swimmer’s arm

Honey spill creates sticky situation

Honey spill creates sticky situation

Pensioner shoots at child plum thieves

Pensioner shoots at child plum thieves

Keeper catches last monkey of escaped trio

Keeper catches last monkey of escaped trio

Boy finds grandfather’s ‘mummy’ hidden in attic

Boy finds grandfather’s ‘mummy’ hidden in attic

Turkish man takes pain out of praying

Turkish man takes pain out of praying

Escaped monkey risks family jewels if caught

Escaped monkey risks family jewels if caught

Castle brewers defy beer makers death knell

Castle brewers defy beer makers death knell

Sixt’s sexy car PR trick backfires

Sixt’s sexy car PR trick backfires

Huge German cockerel lands in London

Huge German cockerel lands in London

Outdoor sex fine lower for jobless ‘unfair’

Outdoor sex fine lower for jobless ‘unfair’

Town pays refugees to haul luggage

Town pays refugees to haul luggage

Drunk inventors caught cruising in car-pool

Drunk inventors caught cruising in car-pool

German tourists like what they know

German tourists like what they know

Problem geese deposits frustrate German mayor

Problem geese deposits frustrate German mayor

Drunken driver survives death-defying drop

Drunken driver survives death-defying drop

Frankfurt city hall piano brawl hits wrong note

Frankfurt city hall piano brawl hits wrong note

Man run over by train lives, shouts at driver

Man run over by train lives, shouts at driver

Office seduction scores among young Germans

Office seduction scores among young Germans

Cops ‘turn’ Trojan elephant in drug drama

Cops ‘turn’ Trojan elephant in drug drama

Pet pals ‘crucial’ for kids – and adults – in Germany

Pet pals ‘crucial’ for kids – and adults – in Germany

Stork lays siege to village with car attacks

Stork lays siege to village with car attacks

Worried parents hire sniffer dog to check kids

Worried parents hire sniffer dog to check kids

Town gardeners wage war on rogue hemp

Town gardeners wage war on rogue hemp

Death threats for police who shot Bruce the dog

Death threats for police who shot Bruce the dog

Police investigate ‘United Stasi of America’ artist

Police investigate ‘United Stasi of America’ artist

Ten perks of a German summer

Ten perks of a German summer

Farmer unearths potato thief after 15 years

Farmer unearths potato thief after 15 years

Ex-Chancellor ‘hoards 38,000 cigarettes’

Ex-Chancellor ‘hoards 38,000 cigarettes’

Court: landlady right to evict stinky smoker

Court: landlady right to evict stinky smoker

Mass school year failure raises questions

Mass school year failure raises questions

Wayward horse injures five at marksmen’s fair

Wayward horse injures five at marksmen’s fair

Tenants told to lump neighbour peeing noise

Tenants told to lump neighbour peeing noise

Bremen’s ‘bishop’s ring’ found broken

Bremen’s ‘bishop’s ring’ found broken

World watches epic hot air blimp flight

World watches epic hot air blimp flight

Six kids collapse in sex education class

Six kids collapse in sex education class

Eight German gaffes JFK didn’t make

Eight German gaffes JFK didn’t make

His and hers ‘sexist sausages’ cause a storm

His and hers ‘sexist sausages’ cause a storm

Brawl breaks out at kids’ footie game

Brawl breaks out at kids’ footie game

Red tape tangle forces cops to pay to park

Red tape tangle forces cops to pay to park

Thieves swipe medieval bishop’s shiny ring

Thieves swipe medieval bishop’s shiny ring

Being hungry ‘changes brain’ to take risks

Being hungry ‘changes brain’ to take risks

Building begins of replica medieval town

Building begins of replica medieval town

Dentist cut off own finger for insurance cash

Dentist cut off own finger for insurance cash

German MPs aim for positive doggie vibes

German MPs aim for positive doggie vibes

Canny footballer shoots, scores, is banned

Canny footballer shoots, scores, is banned

‘I come to Germany for prostitutes – it’s like Aldi’

‘I come to Germany for prostitutes – it’s like Aldi’

Udderly charming: cow beauty contest

Udderly charming: cow beauty contest

Franz Ferdinand singer: I love German asparagus

Franz Ferdinand singer: I love German asparagus

Fire resurrects ‘devil talk’ in exorcism town

Fire resurrects ‘devil talk’ in exorcism town

Nine weird German weather phenomena

Nine weird German weather phenomena

Banker transfers millions by napping on keyboard

Banker transfers millions by napping on keyboard

WWII bomber raised from watery English grave

WWII bomber raised from watery English grave

Bavarian gives random kid wife’s alimony

Bavarian gives random kid wife’s alimony

Germans import an Indian splash of colour

Germans import an Indian splash of colour

Topless women protest outside Merkel’s office

Topless women protest outside Merkel’s office

Guardiola perfecting his German for Bayern

Guardiola perfecting his German for Bayern

Biscuit-maker unamused by golden cookie theft

Biscuit-maker unamused by golden cookie theft

Student dives 700 times in 24 hours

Student dives 700 times in 24 hours

Conservatives question pink prison cells

Conservatives question pink prison cells

New law reignites debate over ‘baby hatches’

New law reignites debate over ‘baby hatches’

Woman escapes €70,000 parking fine

Woman escapes €70,000 parking fine

Businessman builds a used Lego empire

Businessman builds a used Lego empire

JC Penney ‘Hitler kettle’ advert raises eyebrows

JC Penney ‘Hitler kettle’ advert raises eyebrows

Top tasty Teutonic treats

Top tasty Teutonic treats

Police find body lying ‘among 50 snakes’

Police find body lying ‘among 50 snakes’

Lidl gets stick for running out of stickers

Lidl gets stick for running out of stickers

Accidental corpse thieves get jail time

Accidental corpse thieves get jail time

Man lives 15 years with pencil in head

Man lives 15 years with pencil in head

Police warn train ticket machines may explode

Police warn train ticket machines may explode

Brewers: ‘No fracking with our German beer’

Brewers: ‘No fracking with our German beer’

Ten German body parts

Ten German body parts

Hipster Berlin dogs get meaty frozen yoghurt

Hipster Berlin dogs get meaty frozen yoghurt

German jewel thief escapes Aussie police

German jewel thief escapes Aussie police

Justin Bieber’s monkey becomes ‘German’

Justin Bieber’s monkey becomes ‘German’

Christian Democrats set up political donation ATM

Christian Democrats set up political donation ATM

Look-alike prisoner gets cell-mate’s release

Look-alike prisoner gets cell-mate’s release

Diplomat’s dog bites wife of Korean fat cat

Diplomat’s dog bites wife of Korean fat cat

Single women ‘too much trouble’ for allotments

Single women ‘too much trouble’ for allotments

‘Time is money’ in new Wiesbaden café

‘Time is money’ in new Wiesbaden café

Beyoncé makes midnight Berlin shopping spree

Beyoncé makes midnight Berlin shopping spree

How our brains grasp giggles, grunts, guffaws

How our brains grasp giggles, grunts, guffaws

Germany pets Justin Bieber’s monkey

Germany pets Justin Bieber’s monkey

Steinbrück cries on stage at wife’s sympathy

Steinbrück cries on stage at wife’s sympathy

Cops call spider man after catching tarantula

Cops call spider man after catching tarantula

Scientists solve Monarch migration mystery

Scientists solve Monarch migration mystery

Merkel: I store sleep like a camel stores water

Merkel: I store sleep like a camel stores water

Atheist shoes go missing in God-fearing US

Atheist shoes go missing in God-fearing US

Sex in bathrooms best say one in five Germans

Sex in bathrooms best say one in five Germans

New €5 notes make German debut

New €5 notes make German debut

Boy – the world’s smallest film star

Boy – the world’s smallest film star

Visitors flock to Hamburg garden show

Visitors flock to Hamburg garden show

20,000 Goths gather in Leipzig

20,000 Goths gather in Leipzig

Unique baroque feather room opens for visitors

Unique baroque feather room opens for visitors

Rogue dentist barred after 20-tooth incident

Rogue dentist barred after 20-tooth incident

Merkel gave Obamas golf putts and wine

Merkel gave Obamas golf putts and wine

Cop loses gun in bid to keep trousers clean

Cop loses gun in bid to keep trousers clean

Hot ice-cream shop hikes prices to deter custom

Hot ice-cream shop hikes prices to deter custom

Dusty discs unite Germany and Iran

Dusty discs unite Germany and Iran

Giant spider bites florist

Giant spider bites florist

Twelve English words made up by Germans

Twelve English words made up by Germans

Magdeburg waterworks keeps crocodile mascot

Magdeburg waterworks keeps crocodile mascot

Smoker survives car cleaning product blast

Smoker survives car cleaning product blast

German tackles bird deaths with cat tax idea

German tackles bird deaths with cat tax idea

Brewers fear beer  war

Brewers fear beer war

Disposable camera snaps creativity in Dresden

Disposable camera snaps creativity in Dresden

Heidi Klum’s ‘Top Models’ catch head lice

Heidi Klum’s ‘Top Models’ catch head lice

Merkel loses Time’s 100 influential people place

Merkel loses Time’s 100 influential people place

Johns ‘need clean bill of health’ for hooker visits

Johns ‘need clean bill of health’ for hooker visits

Rat poison-laced bread puts 25 in hospital

Rat poison-laced bread puts 25 in hospital

‘Today I am happy to live with a beard’

‘Today I am happy to live with a beard’

Woman finds bag of human bones

Woman finds bag of human bones

200-year-old German mummies on display

200-year-old German mummies on display

‘Tank & Cut’ hairdressers hit petrol stations

‘Tank & Cut’ hairdressers hit petrol stations

Queen Asparagus reigns supreme over Germany

Queen Asparagus reigns supreme over Germany

Scientists to crunch crisp craving mystery

Scientists to crunch crisp craving mystery

SPD call for ‘Eurofood’ police force

SPD call for ‘Eurofood’ police force

High speed highway heists baffle police

High speed highway heists baffle police

US jury: fake Rockefeller guilty of murder

US jury: fake Rockefeller guilty of murder

‘He thought it was funny at first’

‘He thought it was funny at first’

States to toughen laws on drunken cycling

States to toughen laws on drunken cycling

Airborne car smashes through barn

Airborne car smashes through barn

Ruffled feathers get swan dropped from menu

Ruffled feathers get swan dropped from menu

Heidi Klum: people took photos as I saved my son

Heidi Klum: people took photos as I saved my son

Shy balls cause televised Lotto cock-up

Shy balls cause televised Lotto cock-up

Munich tinkles street pianos’ ivories

Munich tinkles street pianos’ ivories

Merkel angry at paparazzi swimsuit shots in Italy

Merkel angry at paparazzi swimsuit shots in Italy

Young Bavarians steal hydrangeas for highs

Young Bavarians steal hydrangeas for highs

Bieber ‘should not get his monkey back’

Bieber ‘should not get his monkey back’

Tonnes of nicked Nutella gives cops bellyache

Tonnes of nicked Nutella gives cops bellyache

Teen finds web fame singing dumpling hymn

Teen finds web fame singing dumpling hymn

Egg-cellent idioms for Easter – it’s no yolk

Egg-cellent idioms for Easter – it’s no yolk

German schoolkids told: The military wants you

German schoolkids told: The military wants you

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