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SOCIAL

Five online postings not meant for German eyes

Five online postings not meant for German eyes
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No vinegar on their chips. How can they JUST NOT GET IT? And what's with the dodgy ketchup and gloopy mayonnaise?? And don't even get me started on what they do with tea or I'll lose it altogether. Savages.Photo: DPA
Everyone is so *sensitive* here about the Third Reich. Yes, yes, it has to be thus - and the alternative would be unthinkably dreadful. But when a friend overseas asks how things are in the fatherland, just one little joke about marching east can't hurt can it? It's just between us. That and the Blackadder quip about being "sausage-side". Puerile, but very, very funny. Photo: DPA
That joke about deliberately mixing up rubbish just to annoy people, putting all the recyclables in the black bin, and everything else in the bio bin. Not funny if they were to be listening in. Not even a little bit. Photo: DPA
And while you're talking about bins, those fantasies about murdering the guys who are just doing their job, and it's a job you wouldn't want to have to do, and they do their best really, but honestly, banging bins up and down stairs before 7am? Definitely worthy of a grenade hurled out the bedroom window.Photo: DPA
Your lovely German neighbour finally trusts you to water their plants while they're away. In their pristine, shoe-free apartment. You could do without them knowing about your little joke with a friend back home about walking around in outside shoes because you know they can't tell, and it's just *too precious* to offer guest-slippers to everyone who comes in. Photo: DPA
And of course, while the spies may have heard your excoriation of Germans and their habits which just drive you *crazy*, the bit they miss is when your overseas friend agrees and says "Yeah, what a bunch of humourless Nazis" - and you go ballistic and tell them "No! You have no idea, it's not like that at all you idiot, they're great, so organized and forward-looking, not like the fools who criticize them." Yeah, that's the bit they won't hear. Photo: DPA


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