Seven German habits that foreigners really struggle to cope with
We all like living in Germany - why else would we be here? And by and large the people are wonderful, but some things they do still make us hot under the collar.
1. They are very direct
Don't expect British levels of small talk. Photo: David Goehring / Flickr
Some cultures wind everything they say into convoluted sentences, for fear of being thought rude. In China, saying 'no' to people directly can cause terrible offence. That great ambassador of Britishness, Hugh Grant, can't finish a sentence without stuttering “I’m so terribly sorry.”
Germans are quite the opposite: cut the small talk, and say it straight. “Pass the salt” will do nicely and won’t come across as impolite. In our book they even make the Dutch look shy.
And it’s not just trivial conversation either. You can meet someone in a bar, and rather than exchanging niceties, the first question (especially if you're American) might be: “Do you think Trump will get elected again?”
It may take time to get used to it, but you do eventually realize it’s not impolite to get straight to the point. In fact, you'll soon realize it saves quite a lot of time!
2. They still have a correcting culture
Germans still sometimes take discipline into their own hands. Photo: Wikimedia Commons
Americans, Brits and Canadians are often struck by the reprimands they receive when they first arrive in Germany and don't abide by societal norms.
If a kid has his shoes up on the seat on the bus, it's quite normal for a fellow passenger to lean over and ask him to put them on the floor.
This willingness to discipline other members of the public is particularly strong in the more traditional areas such as Bavaria. There, you may well be confronted by a local who will set you straight. In Berlin, by contrast, the correcting culture is much less apparent.
In Germany people often have no qualms about telling you you’re doing something wrong, regardless of whether you’re a young child, or a grown adult. One particular bugbear of Germans is crossing roads when there’s a red light, and they will often give you a piece of their mind if you decide to jaywalk.
3. They make you pay in cash
Germans don't like using these much. Photo: DPA
Germany is a country famed for technology: its high-spec BMWs, Audis and Porsches, or its efficient transport system. But many foreigners will soon realize that this is in many ways a bit of a myth.
Sometimes it seems that no one is more technophobic than the Germans. The most surprising example is how rarely Germans use debit or credit cards, even though this is starting to change in big cities such as Berlin.
With contactless technology and apps such as Apple Pay now available in almost every shop in Britain or the US, it seems bizarre that many restaurants in Germany are cash only.
It can be pretty embarrassing when trying to pay for something and the staff say they don’t accept card. The result is all too often a humble apology as you ask the waiter the way to the nearest cash machine. They’ll sigh and shrug their shoulders.
4. Terrible service
Karl Garff and Eva-Maria Keller performing the iconic "Dinner for One" in Hesse, which although it's a British sketch has become a German must-watch on New Year's Eve. Photo: DPA
If you’re American, you probably find British restaurant service pretty dismal, but you clearly haven’t visited a Berlin restaurant recently.
To tar all with the same brush would be unfair, but there are a whole host of restaurants to choose from if you’d rather feel like a naughty child than a paying customer.
The “customer is always right” rule just doesn’t really apply here. You can't be in a rush in many German restaurants, as the waiter will often pay you zero attention - and expect them to argue back if they get your order wrong.
You won’t believe the reactions you get when you ask for a glass of tap water. The Local has received a range of responses in Berlin from “We don’t have any here” to “If we give you free tap water, we'll have to give it to everybody” (The horror!).
5. They waste no time in sending threatening, Kafkaesque letters
Don't panic if you get a letter from a German bureaucrat threatening the absolute worst. Germans love making everything official by what many foreigners may consider to be an outdated system - postal mail - and they love even more writing terrifying letters.
So if you miss part of a rental payment, don't be surprised when instead of a knock at your door or kind phone call, your German landlord decides to deal with the situation by sending a letter threatening immediate eviction without warning.
And if you're a bit behind on paying your German public broadcaster fee, they'll soon start threatening to seize your car - even if you don't in fact own one.
A simple phone call or - of course - letter explaining that you've already made the payment online will always diffuse the situation, perhaps much to your surprise after receiving such startling threats.
6. They smoke indoors, but do everything else outdoors
A man smokes in a pub in Bremen. Photo: DPA
This is another one that will affect people in Berlin most, but Germany’s smoking ban is much more relaxed than most other western countries.
Germany has a federal smoking ban in place. Yet apart from in Bavaria, North Rhine-Westphalia, and Saarland, it is still possible to smoke in some restaurants, bars and clubs depending on the state regulations.
So for non-smoking Brits or Americans, the often very public smoking seems completely alien. After sitting in a smoke-filled bar you may well return home at night to find your clothes reek. These days, even France is less smokey than Germany.
Even on train station platforms, Germans are often happy to light up, and once they’ve had a couple of drinks, the underground stations can become smoking zones too. They just don’t seem to take the ban as seriously as we do.
But it's equally strange to us that they also love being outside. Maybe it's their tolerance for colder weather, but even when it's freezing you'll see families at the playground and children running around in sub-zero temperatures.
7. Political incorrectness
Perhaps because the US and Britain have such long histories of inward migration, the words Germans use can seem outdated to us.
For example, German citizens whose parents or even grandparents came from Turkey are still often referred to simply as "Turks" rather than Germans.
And Americans who find costumes like "Red Indian" and blackface offensive may also be surprised to find these readily available in dress-up shops in Germany, where the cultural significance is clearly different.