• Germany's news in English

Fake census forms probe drug consumption and penis size

The Local · 11 May 2011, 15:56

Published: 11 May 2011 15:56 GMT+02:00

Facebook Twitter Google+ reddit

It is not clear whether the fake forms are an elaborate joke or an attempt at satire, but have been reported in Hesse, Lower Saxony and now Berlin.

The forms the same as the official version, and have been arriving since Monday, when the genuine census was sent out, according to daily Berliner Zeitung.

Initially the only distinguishing factor is that the fake census forms are delivered to mailboxes without an envelope. The questions seem genuine at first, but soon begin probing into some more-than-personal areas which don’t feature in the real thing.

One question asks participants, “which drugs do you take?”, giving them the option to tick boxes marked with options including LSD or cannabis.

Another delved into medical history, asking “have you ever undertaken a breast or penis enlargement procedure?”

“These questions were all entirely fictitious, we wouldn’t ask anything like that,” said Klaus Voy, Census Project Manager at the Brandenburg-Berlin Office of Statistics.

“Those opposing the census might have preferred it if we’d asked such questions, as it would have fuelled their argument.”

With the real census coming under fire from privacy advocacy groups for asking questions about immigration background and religion that are beyond EU requirements, some featuring on the joke census concerning “sexual orientation” may not initially appear fake.

Story continues below…

The first results of the real census will be released in the autumn of 2012.

The Local/rm

The Local (news@thelocal.de)

Facebook Twitter Google+ reddit

Your comments about this article

17:28 May 11, 2011 by trash head

Nice one ! Could be from me.
18:49 May 11, 2011 by Englishted
Well mine is 12inches but I don't use it a rule.
19:07 May 11, 2011 by iseedaftpeople
to prove a point, they also should have asked

"On a scale from 1 to 5, how gullible do you consider yourself?"

01:48 May 12, 2011 by DavidtheNorseman
The real question is how many will be sent in to the Census Bureau and the information dillegently recorded and filed...LOL
08:40 May 12, 2011 by nz101
ha ha. Love it, good to know there are still some people out there with a sense of humour !
09:26 May 12, 2011 by Angry Ami
Well if they really must know

20 x 6 :-P
12:20 May 12, 2011 by Simon_Kellett
@iseedaftpeople> "On a scale from 1 to 5, how gullible do you consider yourself?"

Sorry, my Englisch is not good: what does "gullible" mean? (I can not find it in my diktionary.)
12:31 May 12, 2011 by iseedaftpeople
@Simon Kellett:

nice try ;-)

But in case you do want to know-

according to Random House Webster's College Dictionary:

gullible, adj. - easily deceived or cheated; naive; credulous.
13:08 May 12, 2011 by Dashcroft
angri ami: mine's the same - in inches!
13:31 May 12, 2011 by Englishted
12:31 May 12, 2011 by iseedaftpeople

@Simon Kellett:

nice try ;-)

But in case you do want to know-

according to Random House Webster's College Dictionary:

gullible, adj. - easily deceived or cheated; naive; credulous.

So like F.D.P. voters really.
13:46 May 12, 2011 by maxbrando
I believe that the real problem is that many, many Germans will think the fake form is the real one, and that the already intrusive German is just being itself!
14:16 May 13, 2011 by n230099
OK...that's funny!
23:29 May 13, 2011 by derExDeutsche
it would have found a closely linked correlation between penis size and drug consumption. individuals with larger penis' consume more drugs.
16:18 May 17, 2011 by Yousufzai
Interesting Questionnaire and Form . But can any body tell me that what size of Penis the people (esp. Girls) in Deutschland likes?
Today's headlines
Eurowings braces as cabin crew union proclaims strike
Photo: DPA

A union representing cabin crew for Lufthansa's budget airline Eurowings announced that strikes could take place at any time over the next two weeks, starting on Monday.

Mysterious German U-boat wreckage found off Scotland
Photo: ScottishPower

First World War U-boat "attacked by sea monster” thought to be found off Scottish coast.

Supermarket Edeka warns of exploding apple juice bottles
Photo: DPA

"Risk of injury" from "Gut und Günstig" sparkling apple juice bottles has forced Germany's largest supermarket to recall the product.

By wheelchair from Syria to Germany: teen's story of hope
Nujeen Mustafa. Photo: HarperCollins-William Collins Publicity/Private

She tackled the gruelling 2,000-kilometre migrant trail in a wheelchair, translating along the way for other refugees using English she learned from a US soap opera. Now this teen is living in Germany and hoping to inspire others with a newly published memoir.

Berlin Zoo to have a pair of pandas by next summer
A recently born panda pair at Vienna Zoo. Photo: DPA

The giant bamboo-eating bears will move into a brand new 5,000 square-metre enclosure in the capital's Zoologischer Garten.

Two new spider species discovered in Munich
Zoropsis spinimana. Photo: rankingranqueen / Wikimedia Commons

It's news every arachnophobe in Munich is no doubt thrilled to hear: two types of spider new to the region have been discovered in the Bavarian capital - and one of them bites!

After woman's body found in barrel, husband may walk free
Franziska S., who went missing 24 years ago. Photo: Hanover police.

A woman disappeared in Hanover 24 years ago, but no one reported her missing. Although her husband has now confessed to her murder, he still may not step foot in jail.

Two injured after army tank falls 50 metres in Alps
A Bundeswehr Puma tank. File photo: DPA

A Bundeswehr (German army) soldier has been severely injured after the tank he was riding in crashed 50 metres down an embankment after going off course in bad weather.

Teen girl stands trial for 'Isis' police stabbing in Hanover
Police guard the courthouse in Celle. Photo: DPA

A teenage girl stands trial from Thursday in Germany for stabbing a police officer, an assault allegedly "ordered" by Isis but which was not claimed by the jihadist group.

Merkel threatens Putin with more sanctions on Berlin visit
Angela Merkel and Vladimir Putin in Berlin. Photo: DPA

Chancellor Angela Merkel created a united front with French President Francois Hollande in Berlin on Thursday to denounce Russia’s “war crimes” in Syria.

Sponsored Article
How to vote absentee from abroad in the US elections
10 things you never knew about socialist East Germany
Sponsored Article
Last chance to vote absentee in the US elections
How Germans fell in love with America's favourite squash
How I ditched London for Berlin and became a published author
Sponsored Article
How to vote absentee from abroad in the US elections
12 clever German idioms that'll make you sound like a pro
23 fascinating facts you never knew about Berlin
9 unmissable events to check out in Germany this October
10 things you never knew about German reunification
10 things you're sure to notice after an Oktoberfest visit
Germany's 10 most Instagram-able places
15 pics that prove Germany is absolutely enchanting in autumn
10 German films you have to watch before you die
6 things about Munich that’ll stay with you forever
10 pieces of German slang you'll never learn in class
Ouch! Naked swimmer hospitalized after angler hooks his penis
Six reasons why Berlin is now known as 'the failed city'
15 tell-tale signs you’ll never quite master German
7 American habits that make Germans very, very uncomfortable
Story of a fugitive cow who outwitted police for weeks before capture
Eleven famous Germans with surnames that'll make your sides split
The best ways to get a visa as an American in Germany
jobs available
Toytown Germany
Germany's English-speaking crowd