Elmar Thüry, 52, is the "new star of the sex toy scene," the paper reports, sending handmade dildos from his Odenwald workshop to customers as far away as Saigon.
The dildos boast names like “Goliath," "Foxtail," and "The Weasel," and come in more than 70 shapes and sizes to bring grown-up Christmas joy for merrymakers at the market, which is in Hamburg's famous Reeperbahn red light district.
Thüry set about carving out his business in 2006, naming the company "Waldmichlsholdi," which is a play on words on a popular German folk song. All five family members, aged 18 to 46, have a hand in producing the products in Hettigenbeuern, deep in the Odenwald forest region in the German state of Hesse.
The family business is a gossip fodder in the tiny town of 600, Thüry told the paper. "The people talk," he said. "But they've also become a bit proud of us. We've made the village famous."
They've dubbed their woody sex toys, which have a non-toxic, environmentally friendly varnish, "The country pleasure maker" and a "natural alternative to synthetic dildos," and fill special orders according to the intimate preferences of their customers. One memorable special order boasted a girth of 12 centimeters.
According the Waldmichlsholdi website, the question people most frequently ask is whether there's a possibility of getting splinters. But the family enterprise assures customers they needn't be concerned and their products are guaranteed to be 100-percent safe.
Santa Pauli Christmas market:
Monday to Wednesday, 5 – 11 pm
Thursday to Saturday 5 pm to 1 am
Sunday 1 to 11 pm