My Dear Krauts
Many Berliners have a talent for escape. Photo: DPA

Escaping in Berlin

Published: 26 Aug 09 11:59 CET
Online: http://www.thelocal.de/opinion/20090826-21493.html

Roger Boyes, the Berlin correspondent of British daily The Times, knuckles down to write his new book – but only after a valiant effort to escape work.

I’ve never been to journalism school but if I had the professor – I can imagine him now, a corduroy jacket with leather patches – would surely have said: State your theme at the beginning and then stay focused!

But that is precisely my problem at the moment. I have a book deadline fast approaching and have taken some time off from my daily work for The Times. Though I resolve every day to produce a certain number of pages, I instead wake up early, walk the dog, drink a coffee at the bakers and read the papers. Then I find some other way to occupy my time.

Only by seven o’clock in the evening am I ready to write. In a quick sprint, a page is written, followed by a recovery period; then half a page, and exhaustion. It is probably the least efficient way of writing ever devised but the sheer accumulation of vacillation and guilt, the day of delay is so draining that I have to go out of the house to reward myself with a drink.

This isn’t difficult because Berlin is full of bars for late-night folk, and I don’t mean the dreadful bunkers used by clubbers or the overpriced “lounges” with velvet ropes out front. I’m talking about places with names like “Imma oof” and “Rudis,” where shift-workers go to get rid of their excess adrenaline.

At my regular haunts there are usually some journalists, maybe an emergency room doctor after a busy, bloody night, and perhaps a policeman on his way home. There are surprisingly few drunks and since everyone is trying to clear his head after a long day of complex problem-solving, discussion tends to be monosyllabic. Arguments flare up and fizzle out.

The other night, a reporter who should have known better launched into a passionate lament for the newspaper Neues Deutschland which looks as if it could collapse. Now if ever there was a paper that deserved to go bust it must surely be the ND, the former mouthpiece of East Germany’s communist party the SED. It has re-invented itself since the bad old days, but not by much; it is a paper with a history of calculated deceit. But I was too tired to make the obvious counter-arguments and just walked out.

The next day, meeting Vera Dörrier-Breitwieser, I wished I had not dodged a fight. She is a formidable woman and possesses a memory sharp enough to dismantle any nostalgic case for preserving a newspaper that once made excuses for a rotten regime. Her story is Berlin in aspic. Forget her, and people like her, and you distort the moral compass of the city.

She was 28 and living with her parents in the eastern district of Pankow when the Wall went up, training reluctantly as a teacher. Her father was a librarian, a member of the SED and a true believer. Her mother was a sceptic. What kept Vera sane were her regular weekend trips to a Christian-Jewish discussion group in Wannsee. The Wall put an end to that and she wrote to the institute expressing her sadness. They in turn set in motion the escape organisation of the Free University of Berlin.

A picture of Vera was sent to students in Switzerland who helped find a Swiss woman vaguely resembling the East Berlin student. They borrowed the woman’s passport and sent it to the FU team. And Vera began the process of reconstructing herself: with all the self-discipline of an athlete.

She memorised the birthdates of the Swiss woman’s children – they were entered in the passport and the East German border guards could well have asked her tricky questions. She even set about learning Swiss German, and changed her look to match the photo.

Out came the East German labels in the underwear, off came the East German boots. A western coat with seal fur was arranged; a hat that could be pulled down to disguise the height of her forehead. The rivers and villages surrounding her supposed birthplace in Switzerland were memorised; a backstory was created and committed to memory.

All this for a few minutes performance at the Friedrichstrasse crossing point. December 1961 she got over; the next woman to try to use a Swiss passport was caught and sent to the Stasi’s prison in Hohenschönhausen.

That short walk from east to west was probably the greatest moment in Vera’s life; a triumph of discipline, teamwork, of holding ones nerve. Not everything went smoothly later in West Berlin, but she found happiness in her work as a librarian at the Otto Suhr Institute.

Her life story, told to me over coffee without pathos, is proof that the Berliners have a great talent for escape. But it also reminded me that if you want to achieve something strongly enough, even the least promising of personalities can develop the appropriate psychological muscle, the habits of self-discipline.

So here’s my personal progress report: since meeting Vera, I have started to write in the mornings. Not much, and I am still easily distracted. But the pages are beginning to fill up, one by one.

For more Roger Boyes, check out his website here.

The Local (news@thelocal.de)

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Your comments about this article:

16:23 August 27, 2009 by wood artist
Being in the midst of writing a historical novel set in Berlin, I can understand Roger's problems. For me, Berlin is too big a canvas, and I find myself wanting to include all the gritty details that make the city what it is. Vera's story is great, and there are many more, equally "exciting" and equally touching.

Thanks for sharing this, Roger.
22:11 August 29, 2009 by Fitzgerald
My Dear Krauts ?????????

What is that supposed to mean ? Is this a sarcastic English terminology to describe their fellow saxon cousins once again in a manner based on contempt ?

Kraut = Cabbage !!!!!! My Dear Cabbages ???????

I wonder how the English would like to be addressed as in the following:

My Dear Island Monkeys !!

Perhaps being called a Cabbage is not so bad as being called a Monkey but it is hardly any appropriate way to address fellow Europeans by slanderous name calling in this very era of Political Correctness..

Showing respect is actually a common courtesy - That includes all Germans ?

John
15:11 August 30, 2009 by Scottrocks9
I can only concur with the comment by Fitzgerald (john) about the heading for this column. I find it offensive(I am neither German, English, American). Why not name your columns "My Dear Pakis, or My Dear Coolies or My Dear Coons'. It was the first thing that struck me when I saw this column. The Local should insist on this being changed and I will not read anything Roger Boyes has to write until it is. Does he actually get paid to wriet this nonsense? It also reflects a condescending attitude by the writer and guess what...it's not even funny as he seems to think it is. And lastly, there is one thing no English person should ever have over a German and that is a condescending attitude-Germany is a far superior society to England and at least, they can play football.
10:23 September 2, 2009 by Dugald
My Dear Square Headed Sausage Eaters and Whingeing Poms, I consider neither of your societies superior to the other and think the debate has become slightly ridiculous.

Anyone who finds Rogers humor offensive is either taking themselves far to seriously or just does'nt get the irony.
03:42 September 3, 2009 by Scottrocks9
Boyes is not funny, but he seems to think he is, so you Dugald, can laugh at it but it's third rate. And yes, Germany is superior to England in so many ways that Boyes and supporters should just stuff their conceit. And yes, the headline 'My Dear Krauts' smacks of that silly conceit. I won't be reading his crap anymore.
12:12 September 4, 2009 by Small Town Boy
Boyes has a habit of sticking his foot into it, apparently without realising he's doing it. "My Dear Krauts" isn't only the name of this column, he's actually gone and published an entire book, in German, with this title. Needless to say it receives terrible reviews on Amazon.de, as do his other books, entitled "A Year in the Scheisse" and "How to be a Kraut". He should probably stick to writing history books and dull copy for The Times.
16:02 September 11, 2009 by Scottrocks9
Boyes is obviously not an intelligent individual or a person of class. The Local must be hard-up for properly trained English speaking writers for their publication, because this drivel could never pass for comedy, wit, or professional journalism. The Local could, and should do better than this, because this sort of thing brings down the average, so to speak, of the publication. Boyes could certainly write a piece titled " How to be an English @$$h0le freeloading in Germany". For that, he would be a natural.
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