• Germany edition
 
The Local List
Germany's weirdest Christmas markets
Photo: DPA

Germany's weirdest Christmas markets

Published: 14 Dec 2012 12:04 GMT+01:00
Updated: 14 Dec 2012 12:04 GMT+01:00

Erotic Christmas market in Hamburg

Aptly dubbed “the horniest Christmas market in Germany“, this unorthodox Weihnachtsmarkt can be found in the St Pauli district of Hamburg and offers an array of sexy seasonal treats for the sixth year in a row.

The set up is similar to a normal market, with wooden stalls touting their wares, a decked out Christmas tree and vendors selling mulled wine. But there is one main difference; sex everywhere, in true St. Pauli style.

Alongside the traditional Christmas paraphernalia sit scanty knickers, erotic pictures, and hand carved wooden dildos made by a family-run team specializing in wooden sex toys.

Gingerbread hearts, instead of reading “I love you” are emblazoned with romantic phrases such “let’s bonk”, and Glühwein has been renamed “virility punch,” or “hooker juice.”

Inside the market tent, burlesque dancers swing around poles and perform regular strip shows. There is even fortune teller, for those who want to know if they’ll be getting lucky in the New Year.

Probably not one for the kids, but definitely worth a visit, the erotic Christmas market can be found on Spielbudenplatz daily. Entrance is free.

Click here for a gallery of Germany's weird Christmas markets

Harbour Christmas market in Cologne

Fish might not be the first thing that springs to mind when thinking about Christmas, but nevertheless, on the banks of the Rhine River in Cologne, a nautical Weihnachtsmarkt has sailed into town.

On Cologne’s oldest bridge, in front of the chocolate museum, revellers can enjoy a range of fishy snacks whilst bobbing along to sea shanties played on the accordion. Go at the right time and you might even catch a performance by the choir of sexy sailors.

Children can hope aboard a story boat and listen to tales of sea monsters, pirates and mermaids, as grown-ups can stroll around the 70 stalls enjoying a Glühbier – a deliciously spiced, warm beer.

The market runs daily and entrance is free.

Underground Christmas market in Kleinbremen

Pop on a helmet and some sturdy shoes, and enjoy the underground Christmas market in Minden.

For three days in December, visitors will be able to peruse handmade goods and enjoy local delicacies by candle light in an abandoned mine, not to mention watch a laser show each evening. With just 50 stalls lining a 150 metre subterranean walkway, this unusual market it bound to be one of the cosiest ones around.

Catch it whilst you can, however, as this Weihnachtsmarkt is only open from the 14 to 16 of December. Entrance fees are a little pricier than normal at €8 for adults and €4 for children, but enjoying a Glühwein and a bratwurst away from the biting cold will be worth it.

Feng-Shui Christmas market in Bergisch Gladbach

If the bustle of Christmas markets sometimes proves too stressful, the North Rhine-Westphalian town of Bergisch Gladbach may be able to help with its Feng-Shui market. Christmas goodies a-plenty can be found in the grounds of Schloss Bensberg, where not a fairground ride is in-sight, and visitors can soak up the ambience to the soulful grooves of gospel group Harlem-Grooves.

Stalls are arranged in accordance to ancient Feng Shui principles of grouping elements together: stalls selling wooden knick-knacks or paper items are sold together in the wood area. Roasted chestnuts or freshly baked goods are sold in the fire section, and the handcrafted jewellery in the metal area.

And what’s more is that the stalls are all arranged in a way the strictest Feng Shui adherent would approve of, creating the most harmonious of Christmas environments. The overall result should be a market with a flowing energy. Or flowing Glühwein at least, which has been especially produced with grapes from Rhineland-Palatinate.

The Bergisch Gladbach market has a small entrance fee of €6 for adults, which includes a drink. Children are admitted free.

Children’s Christmas Market in Lübeck

A Christmas market just for kids has been opened up in Lübeck, Schleswig-Holstein. Here, little ones get to experience the magic properly as smaller stalls allow them to get just as stuck in as the adults.

There is also a 200 metre square ice-rink, but strictly for those under 1 metre 60 tall, and under the age of 10. Parents also have the opportunity to enjoy an adult beverage, whilst their children bake Christmas biscuits in the baking tent under the watchful eye of a trained professional.

Budding actors or actresses will also get the chance to re-enact the nativity story, complete with costumes. More retiring youngsters can sit and watch, however, with a mug of hot chocolate.

The market is open daily through December, entrance is free but the ice-skating rink costs €3 per child.

The Local/jcw

Related links:

The Local (news@thelocal.de)

Your comments about this article

15:25 December 14, 2012 by raandy
The Girl with her finger on her teeth,wow sweeeet !!!!!!
Today's headlines
German Muslims rally against extremism
Muslims pray in Kreuzberg, Berlin, on Friday outside a mosque which was damaged in an arson attack. Photo: DPA

German Muslims rally against extremism

Muslims across Germany held a day of prayers and rallies on Friday to condemn both Islamic extremism and a backlash against their faith that has seen arson attacks on mosques. READ  

German military flight to Iraq starts with a hiccup
The trainers on the air strip in Hohn, Schleswig-Holstein. Photo: Bundeswehr.

German military flight to Iraq starts with a hiccup

Military trainers flew to northern Iraq from Germany on Friday, ahead of a huge delivery of weapons from the German military, but things didn’t initially go as planned. READ  

Munich gets four Euro 2020 matches
Photo: DPA

Munich gets four Euro 2020 matches

UPDATE: Munich will play host to four Euro 2020 games, European football’s governing body Uefa announced in Geneva on Friday, but London was the real winner. READ  

Driver, 18, ploughs into school pupils
The scene by the bus stop outside the school in Diepholz. Photo: DPA

Driver, 18, ploughs into school pupils

An 18-year-old drove into a group of students outside a school in western Germany on Friday morning, injuring several. READ  

View from Germany
'In a globalized world we don't need more loners'
'No' campaign supporters celebrate in Edinburgh after the results were announced. Photo: DPA

'In a globalized world we don't need more loners'

UPDATE: The German government welcomed the result of the Scottish independence referendum on Friday, with Foreign Minister Frank-Walter Steinmeier calling it the "right decision". READ  

Oktoberfest 2014
Your guide to Munich Oktoberfest's beer
Photo: DPA

Your guide to Munich Oktoberfest's beer

The Local's Oktoberfest guide chugs some of the Bavarian tipple fueling this whole shindig. READ  

Berlin squat ripped apart by fire
Kreuzberg's Cuvrybrache. Photo: DPA

Berlin squat ripped apart by fire

UPDATE: One of Berlin’s biggest squats was torn apart by a fire on Thursday night following an argument. READ  

Sterilized woman gets pregnant, sues doctors
Photo: DPA

Sterilized woman gets pregnant, sues doctors

A woman who gave birth after becoming sterilized has tried and failed to sue the hospital which carried out the operation. READ  

Thousands queue for Apple's iPhone 6
Queues outside the Apple Store in Dresden. Photo: DPA

Thousands queue for Apple's iPhone 6

UPDATE: Apple’s new iPhone 6 went on sale on Friday morning, leading to long queues outside stores across Germany. Berlin's Apple Store sold out of the iPhone 6 Plus in an hour. READ  

Blitzmarathon
Pupils catch teacher and mum speeding
A camouflaged speed camera in Schleswig-Holstein on Thursday. Photo: DPA

Pupils catch teacher and mum speeding

UPDATE: A nationwide operation against speeding drivers ended on Friday morning, with police hailing their "Blitzmarathon" as a success. One child in Düsseldorf caught his own mother driving too fast, while another driver hit 238 km/h. READ  

RECEIVE OUR NEWSLETTER AND ALERTS
Photo: DPA
Culture
Your guide to Munich Oktoberfest's tents
Photo: DPA
Hamburg
Drunk teachers ruin school trip to Hamburg
Marks & Spencer
Sponsored Article
Fashion Ladies of the Local: Win a New Autumn Look
Photo: DPA
Gallery
Oktoberfest 2014: The best and worst in dirndl fashion
Photo: Shutterstock
Gallery
Ten German words you'll never want to hear again
Photo: DPA
Education
German universities tumble in global rankings
Photo: Shutterstock
Business & Money
The three types of firms hiring foreigners
Photo: DPA
Berlin
Frisky couple shock Berlin commuters
Sponsored Article
Bilingual education from nursery to graduation at Phorms
Photo: DPA
Business & Money
JobTalk: All you need to know about working in Germany
National
Share news tips with The Local Germany
Latest news from The Local in Austria

More news from Austria at thelocal.at

Latest news from The Local in Switzerland

More news from Switzerland at thelocal.ch

Latest news from The Local in Denmark

More news from Denmark at thelocal.dk

Latest news from The Local in Spain

More news from Spain at thelocal.es

Latest news from The Local in France

More news from France at thelocal.fr

Latest news from The Local in Italy

More news from Italy at thelocal.it

Latest news from The Local in Norway

More news from Norway at thelocal.no

Latest news from The Local in Sweden

More news from Sweden at thelocal.se

3,371
jobs available
Toytown Germany
Germany's English-speaking crowd